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Stephanie Martin-Smith


 

SOUL PURPOSE

Writings & Reflections

Articles and Dates Published

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HEARTBURN DAY - Feb 7th, 09

I am always amazed and intrigued when a string of events lead me to a certain place and time, especially when I feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck, that’s usually when I think it’s a moment to take note of, just like this past week.

I received a call asking to do some music for heartburn day, I was in a hurry when the call came in as I was taking the boys for a haircut in Stratford to my friends shop. We discussed details quickly and I confirmed my calendar was clear that day.

She explained that it was very interesting how she had gotten my name, through my friend from the hair shop (the one that I was on my way to see). Her mom had booked her in for a haircut with my friend because she thought they had so much in common, during that appointment my friend was telling her about my cd, and the song I wrote for her, then a song of mine began playing on the radio, (a very rare event!) so my friend gave her one of my cds, which she enjoyed and made her think of me when they had a last minute cancellation for the event…

Since I was in a hurry, I hadn’t yet put everything together. I thought, I’m sure I have some affiliation with the event and it has touched my life in someway. Then I got to thinking what organization it was for, digging into memory banks about the event and its affiliations. I knew heartburn day has been a huge event in Stratford for many years, with the most amazing chili samples, from restaurants and service clubs from the area and it had to do with the heart… and stroke association.

It was like a little light flicked on in my brain (another rare event) of course I had a connection to this event, my dad died of a stroke at the age of 57. How long ago was it? I started my mental calculation, while getting ready to leave the office and pick up the kids for their hair cuts.

Had it really been 13years? (Lucas was only three months old then) he was born in November and my dad passed away early the next year. I thought about the weather and Feb 7th it always seems stormy and of course I know this because that is the date that my dad passed away and that’s the date that I just booked in.. and that’s when the hair stood up on the back of my neck…what are the odds?

A lot of small random events lead to this one bigger event, maybe it’s all just about taking time to remember that which seems to get lost with time. My dad once told me when I sang “Wind Beneath My Wings” all the hairs stood up on the back of his neck, so I think that would be a good song to sing this Saturday in his memory!

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Cleaning up our town and world.. February 1st, 2009

It seems even our small rural towns now are subject to gangs and graffiti. While reading about it in the paper a few things struck me. Firstly, I wondered in a small town how effective having a gang would be, I mean, a certain amount of “gangness” relies on “anonymity” and lets face it, its hard to not be recognized in a small town.

I can hear the conversation now between two moms at the grocery store… “I know that Johnny has a great love for art, but would you mind having him come over and remove his graffiti from my property, I mean not that it isn’t good, it’s just that it doesn’t really match the rest of my décor… “ .

In the newspaper the police suggested that people who come across the graffiti be encouraged to clean it up as it may spark more “unsolicited artwork” which leads me to my second thought on the situation…

I read in a book once about a study done on a US city who decided to take action on street car artists. Every night the trains would arrive at the station covered in graffiti and every night a team of workers would repaint the cars to their original state, day after day, week after week. Some of the graffiti would take days for these gangs to paint some days they would literally be crying watching their hard work covered over and eventually they simply gave up. The study also found that broken or boarded windows, un-repaired property brought more vandalism and crime to an area and simple repairs and clean up discouraged such behavior or I suppose moved it elsewhere.

So the police are right in their suggestions that cleaning up the artwork really does work and gives us a nicer looking community to boot!

Look at the mess that Barak Obama has just inherited in the US and yet he arrived at the fore front with words of truth and encouragement. He is not blaming yet taking responsibility for the problems at hand. A broken economy, many broken communities, broken relationships with other countries and yet he speaks with words that consist of ‘repair’ and ‘work towards’ and ‘a better tomorrow’. I was so impressed that even his team seemed to be giving truthful, honest answers that they were actually thinking about. Not generic answers, band-aid solutions and quick fixes, but acknowledging and accepting that these issues our world faces today, took awhile to get here and will take hard work and perseverance to repair.

I believe that it is worth the effort to improve our surroundings and that it can and will make a difference. Being a good and active member of a community is a good thing and all of the members of our society are valuable and have something to offer, we may just need to find new ways to re-direct our creative youth in more “solicited” ways. It may not happen over night but I must admit after watching Barak on January 21st speak to his country and to the world, I do believe things might change after all!

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Springin into Action - Waiting for Spring - January 23rd, 2009

I look up into the sky and see a UFO, is it a bird, or a plane, no something quite a bit brighter… the sun! It’s been so long since it shone here in our area I almost didn’t recognize it, I remember seeing it on our trip to Florida but that seems so long ago now!

I find it absolutely amazing the change it brings to my mood, suddenly nature takes on a whole new look, the trees are prettier, the snow glistens and winter doesn’t look so cold and glum, especially from the inside of a window where you are only feeling its fantastic heat!

I know I must accept things about winter, but it doesn’t seem to make me enjoy it any more. It seemed all of my students this past week expressed how tired they were no matter what age, and I was in complete agreement. You know that when everyone thinks it’s much warmer out at minus eleven degrees and I think yes it’s down right balmy out, we have become true Ontarians!

At yoga we were all discussing lower back and shoulder discomfort, probably due to shoveling and I wonder how many people have fallen in our winter weather, I can count a several stories I’ve heard. It also strikes me funny that most of us are far more concerned about anyone seeing our full out wipe out than how injured we may be. I guess that comes later!

Our laneway seems to be getting narrower as the days go by and the snow just keeps piling up, I mean this started in November! People are calling this an old fashioned winter, however I guess we should thank our lucky stars that we are not pioneers and our only source of heat is more than a wood stove in the middle of the cabin and the bathroom is not outside! Are cars are warmer than the horse drawn wagons and for most of us our work takes place indoors. I do feel for the outdoor workers in these cold temperatures as I was fortunate enough to only work one year outside in the winter in steel toed boots and that was enough to last me a lifetime!

So along with being grateful for being born in a generation of comfort I must say I am even more grateful for a good dose of mother natures radiant sun, it seems to give back the energy that was lost and wipe away the glum slumber that many of us seem to fall into but since it is a part of our Canadian winters its best just to find other ways to gain energy. So rather than hibernate I try to do more yoga and exercising so that way when spring does arrive, I am ready to spring into action!

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New Years Plan - January 16th, 2009

 
When the New Year rings in I usually hear a little voice in my head saying either “good riddance to that year:“ or “gee I’m sad that year is over” but this year was “over already?”

Time keeps speeding along and seemingly faster than ever. However I do think that January has something to offer other than frigid temperatures and blinding snow storms…an opportunity to reflect.

It seems to me that we often get stuck in a box that has walls and a ceiling and never really question limitations that we may have consciously or unconsciously placed on ourselves.

Sometimes our limitations are real and sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are simply placed in our mind by ourselves (or someone else that we chose to assist by keeping them) and have never challenged them.

When I see people born without legs who are avid downhill skiers it makes me realize that I have bought into the idea of limitations. My quickest way to rise to a challenge is when someone explains to me that I could “never do that”.

This year I’ve decided, rather than a resolution to try a reflection and restructuring of my thoughts. Stepping it up in life and business, finding new interests, challenging myself in new and innovative ways.

I think for most of us it may not be climbing Mount Everest, it may be as simple as trying a dance class, a cooking class, going back to school, taking a holiday or maybe just entertaining the idea something new or outside of our comfort zone.

Someone said to me recently, “remember as a child when everything was new and exciting, when supper time was a treat, your freshly washed sheets smelled so great, people and places were so interesting, everything was an adventure and everything seemed magical” and then there comes a time when life becomes predictable, routine, a chore, dinner is the same old same old, and we stop questioning the world.

I often wonder where did all the hippies go? I see a few here and there but someone told me “they grew up” and I think what a shame. They created such a stir that who would imagine they could fall into complacency and yet it happens…..

So now the question is, does it have to? It seems to me that for a time we are consumed by our young children and the only planet we are saving is the one in our house (maybe this is when we forget?) and then the kids hit high school and in my opinion you better find a hobby, rediscover yourself because not only is a large part of your job becoming obsolete, they really need you to get a life! It makes us more interesting to our kids, our friends, family and most importantly to ourselves!

So maybe 2009 will be about new questions, expanding our horizons in new and innovative ways finding success in all areas of our life. It doesn’t all begin and end on New Years eve, the whole year is an opportunity for new beginnings!

Post Script: Jim Carrie’s new movie Yes Man is a comical look at learning to step out of the box!

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The Quest for Sun - - January 9th, 2009

 

This year our Christmas gift to the family was to go to Florida, and I think it was a great choice, it still didn’t stop the excessive money flowing from the pockets but I did get exactly what I wanted for Christmas and that was another chance at summer! We literally left climbing over snow banks and drove our way into 80 degree weather, sunny all the way!

I completely understand why so many people ditch our neck of the woods for the sunny south every year and come home for spring, sounds like a great plan to me!

Apparently all we missed was 4 snow storms and a flood so hey that’s a pretty good gift!

I thought the some of our most memorable moments took place within the first 20 minutes of the drive, there was a flurry of activity in the van with games and dvds and other entertainment devices being hooked up, a request from Max for “a little less talking and a little more driving” followed by the question “how many minutes to Florida” and at 5:30am it was a little early for a calculation like that, so I simply replied “a lot”!

Since this was really only our second family vacation that didn’t involve a Fresh Horses Gig, it was well received by the whole family, without phones and internet we were basically forced to actually communicate with one another and the good news is it went pretty well.

The CB proved to be helpful and entertaining during our long drive and we were able to hear about traffic issues that arose and we did have a few censored moments from young ears. I’d really hate for Max to return to SK with that truck driver talk! Mind you did hear some pretty great joke that sounded even better with a Southern Kentucky drawl…. “if you have chrome on back order… you might be a chicken hauler” “if you can be seen from the satellites in space.., you might be a chick hauler” and this went on for pretty much a whole hour and a half traffic jam!

The great weather gave me some time to reflect on why on earth did we ever chose to live in a snow belt? I was reading a book that analyzed this topic (and a few more) and it seems everything seems to stem back from our roots. I probably came from a long line of farmers who found themselves drawn to this type of terrain and generation after generation we just sort of settled. (no pun intended) According to this book it also has a lot to do with our dispositions… sunny or otherwise!

I guess the weather is just a trade off anyway, we get snow, they get hurricanes. There really is no perfect place to live and we are all subject to weather and its unpredictability but I must admit I think I will always find myself questing after that perfect sunny day!

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Digesting all that Christmas cheer - December 26th, 2008

It would be very interesting to see if stocks in Tums, Rolaids and other stomach-settling agents go up during the holiday season!

The volumes of food prepared and eaten is just crazy. There was a time when I thought that Christmas was just a free ticket to eat. I mean, you can’t count calories during Christmas, that’s just unnecessary. Who could think of exercise when you can’t even move out of the recliner you molded yourself into after the insurmountable amount of food you ingested for dinner?

And then the sugar, the chocolate, the deserts of every kind you can imagine is always sprawled out in mountainous displays.

I bet you could find more than one or two people unwilling to admit the button on their pants was not willing to meet up with its other half.

And then January… the tummy roll is sitting over top of the pants that you finally pried together. The gym now taunts you with seemingly aggravating exercise and not to mention, its just too darn cold out to be going anywhere.

This year I will create a new mantra that says “Oh yes I can make good choices!”
I have often used a buffet plan that seems to work – I have a heaping tablespoon of everything I’d really like to try. My plate is full, I’ve sampled everything and I am comfortable. It seems to work well.

Oh yeah, don’t wear stretchy pants to any events! That is just asking for indigestion.

Most of all I think all the food prepared this holiday season should be enjoyed and shared with the company of those around us, and we should be thankful that we are part of such an abundant country, a land of plenty. However this is not to be confused with thinking we must eat everything in sight.

Then again if you do eat too much and you are in need of some fresh air, I’m sure you could find some fresh snow to shovel, or a car to push out of the laneway, or some other Canadian outdoor activity!

Post Script: A funny note on Christmas songs…Max was listening to the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and he showed concern. I asked him what he was thinking and he told me that mommy shouldn’t be awake when Santa is there. A few days later a student and I were listening to the same song and her eyes grew large as we heard about mommy and Santa Claus. I thought I’d better see what she thought was the problem with this picture and she said “cheating!” I said “OK, lets move onto another song.” Who wrote this song? There is just no way of explaining your way out of that one!

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Stephen Harper's Early Christmas Gift - December 12th, 2008

As we all write out our Christmas lists this year, we should be happy to hear Stephen Harpers received his gift early, an extended recess for Parliament…. Until January 26th when he is able to bring down a new budget plan since the poo-poo of his first attempt.

The other day my friend was interviewed (and televised) while working at the diner where she waitress’, she was asked to comment on the situation, she explained that it is very odd given the fact he was campaigning and explaining to the country what a great leader he is, that he would over look putting together a solid financial plan for our county given the current economic situation?

I think, gee wouldn‘t that be great to just have all that time to think up a plan? Since I’m self employed I get to do all of my thinking while business is going on, an extension for me would be fitting it into my existing routine, like at night, or early in the morning or on the weekends and recess what the heck is recess? I thought that ended in public school? Besides the fact if my competitors where planning a take over I think I’d pick another time to be away from my desk!

In our business when money is tight you cut back on things that are not necessary, I will never forget when I heard about the lunch tabs being picked up by our government for $750, now who in their right mind would think lunch should cost $750 and that taxpayers should be paying for it? If you are that educated and have that high of a position to warrant a $750 lunch then you shouldn’t that stupid to buy it, but hey, they were probably discussing what social programs to cut!

I wonder what our government would look like if egos were dropped at the door before entering parliament. I think our government should grow up and get along and come up with a plan “together” (what a concept) that will benefit Canada.

Also when it’s time to tighten the financial belt we should all be willing to play a role, not just one sector taking the brunt! Why we as Canadians thinks the country owes us something and balk at the idea of taking a bit of a cut to help out with the bigger picture (that will eventually effect us all) eludes me!

Mother Teresa once said about North America, I’ve seen a starving man, in my country, with only one banana split it in half to share… and here you have so many bananas, and no one is sharing.

When times are tough we need to work together, our government needs to be run like a business that means business and be required to change with the times.

There are so many firsts going on in our world right now this is no time for inefficiency, complacency, mediocrity or half bake plans.

I’ve heard many times before money is not the solution to money problems and if you’re pouring it into a leaky boat you’re simply rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic! We may all look around and shrug and say, “it’s not my problem“, but really we are all responsible for our selves, our families, our communities, our country and our world, because if we won’t… who will?

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Young Drivers Speak Up - December 5th, 2008

I must say for all of those teens who don’t have much to say there is an awful lot of talking going on these days!

I was a bit worried that our next generation being a tad complacent and not caring too much about issues that face our world today, but mess with their right to car pool and you will meet with some serious up rise.

Recently Stephen Harper decided to get behind legislation that will keep drivers under 21 from having more than one passenger 19 or under in their car when they're driving. (with exception of siblings)

Now Dustin our oldest who just got his G1 and was not impressed! (I still can’t believe I have a kid old enough to drive). I understand why these laws are being put into place since a car with five teens in it always makes me cringe!

I didn’t even have to ask the teens what they thought about it, they offered the information freely and didn’t even mumble! We have quite a few high school students that work for us and that frequent our store and believe me it is a hot topic…

Their arguments include, you tell us to be environmentally friendly and save gas and now you all want us to drive separate? Designated drivers are hard enough to find and now you want us to find more?

A good point was brought up by a parent noting we will have that many more teens on the road and I thought yikes, that makes me even more nervous than the one car full of teens!

The teens didn’t even completely disagree with the zero blood alcohol level that’s part of the proposed legislation (at least the teens I was talking to) Or that there should be some serious reprimands for speeding that would include a 30-day license suspension, which grows to 90 days for a second offence and to a total suspension for a third offence resulting in the person having to start over with beginner's driver training courses and apply for a new license.

Now I think if they are going to put this serious of a penalty on speeding teens I think they should extend this to the adults, I see a lot of speeding mature drivers who are making the roads dangerous. You only get penalized when you are young? What’s up with that?

Several families who lost teens are really pushing for the laws, I remember as a teen the friends lost to car accidents and I know that graduated licensing has saved many lives, but I’m not sure that this is the right answer especially in our rural area.

Also 21 is seems a bit high for the age limit.. by that age I was on my second job and driving for the company I was with and engaged to be married. I couldn’t imagine that type of restrictions being put on my life at that time?

I’m not sure what should be done but it’s good to see our next generation standing up and speaking up for what they believe in and pooling together on a Facebook protest group 139,946 members and counting!

 

 

What's Up With The Economy? November 28th, 2008

I really had to keep a close eye on the road while driving recently with all the double takes on the price of gas! It dropped lower and lower and lower… don’t get me wrong I'm lovin it but who would have guessed it?

I know that stocks continue to plummet, most people have just decided to close their eyes, we seem to have entered un-chartered territory.

The major North American Auto Companies are ready to fold, ok well, Al Gore did predict that back when he put the movie out “An Inconvenient Truth” he explained that other countries had a plan for the “energy crisis” Toyota had a 5 year plan to bring in hybrids, but no the North American Companies just kept those big honking gas guzzlers flying off the line! I mean at least try to give them better gas mileage so at least the people who really need to drive one can afford it?!?  A great point was made when they were asked if they are really having this much problem why did they fly in on thier private jets?

I was watching Michael Moore on Larry King the other night, he’s just one of those guys that speaks the truth and I’m sure he’s a thorn in Corporate Americas side. He thinks “if a bailout takes place, the government should be making some serious stipulations to go along with the bailout… like vehicles are of good quality and fuel efficient and run on alternative sources of fuel. The issue is close to his heart as his father worked in the auto industry for three decades in Flint Michigan.

Michael Moore’s documentary style films include Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling for Columbine, Stupid White Men , Slacker Uprising, Dude Where’s My Country and from what I’ve seen they are pretty good and informative movies, but he doesn’t pull any punches, that’s for sure!

It seems odd we Canadians spend so much time watching the US, but as I’ve said before they are like a Siamese twin, we are attached and as much as we are separate much of US business effects us, especially when we want to go on a vacation with the US dollar, now that became expensive again, it went up about as fast as the gas prices went down, but hey it’s great for our economy, we can be competitive again in our exports!

Now on the home front the malls seem to be busy with the first snow fall and according to Kim who I ran into at the bank, so is the car shop, apparently when your windshield wipers don’t work, or your tires don’t help you stop, you need a car repair shop fast!

The kids seem to be excited about snow, I wondered if it would ever stop, it seems a tad early for digging ourselves out! But it could be worse we could live in Arcona who was the heaviest hit in Middlesex county. I think we Huron-Perth people are more than happy to share our snow with our neighboring County, we had it long enough… your turn!

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CELL PHONE NIGHTMARES -November 21st, 2008

I must say I have had just about enough communicating with communications people to last me a lifetime!

Remember the days when there was only one phone carrier and calling them was only a few minute event rather than a full hour episode? Remember when you didn’t have contracts that were the size of a small truck? I can’t even narrow it down to one big company as I think several have provided the same experience.

The latest episode began with a new cell phone bought for a teen in our family (who will go un-named), who had someone (who will also go un-named) drop the phone in the toilet. Well of course it’s only $357 replacement fee for the phone that belongs to our 3 year contract. I could go on and on about how irresponsible it is breaking, losing or damaging a cell phone but my track record is also pretty bad! I too have dropped mine in water, had a display smashed, had baby drool in one and I’m sure at least one more destroyed during my cell phone ownership history.

I did learn one very important lesson through, don’t throw away, or return your old cell phone until you are done with the company you are dealing with. My one phone broke about six months prior to my contract being up and I was ready to change providers but since I had already upgraded and gave my old phone back to recycle I either had to sign up for another 3 years or buy a new one. If I’d kept my old phone I could have made due for a few more months and saved $200.

As I told our most recent story to neighbors Bob and Cathy they offered up an old cell phone and said there were several more floating around in nephew Josh’s toy stash if we got desperate!

Earlier I visited the retail store to discuss our options and mentioned that my bill seemed so high. The phone solicitor (no pun intended) who sold us the additional cell via the phone, sold it as bundle and explained it would only add an addition $5 fee to our overall bill. Well the lady at the retail outlet explained to me (slowly I might add) that, that was not possible and “if it was too good to be true…” silly me I thought this rep would be telling the truth but apparently I didn’t ask the right questions. Maybe I just have to be trickier about it, so then I thought here’s a real trick, how be I take the other 5 phone services that I have with your company and move them somewhere else. Now that’s an amazing vanishing act!

During this time the company also by some mistake cancelled our internet, so half my work was done! So I shopped and oddly enough the new company didn’t lie, didn’t incorrectly bill me and didn’t look at me as if I was daft and to boot they were a third of the price! I guess even if you are one of the biggest companies it is still the little things that count!

 

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John Lennon - Imagine - November 14th, 2008

Remembrance Day has come and gone again, and it makes me wonder in our ever changing world if the more things change the more they stay the same?

I’ve always wonder what a world without war and money would look like. I guess to some it would seem unrealistic or boring, but I think maybe it would simply be just another reality.

In the words of John Lennon, imagine! Imagine if there were no borders, what really would we have left to fight about, no religion, funny how a system based on loving each other has been the spark of so much bloodshed?

Imagine what it would look like if our financial world was not just a game played in a market, moving money around, adding more money to our accounts (that we never really see) and then taking it away (that we’d never even seen… and lots lately) adding stress over something that we never really even had physically?

Imagine what people would do if there was no shortage of basic needs: shelter, food, resources (which there is no physical shortage… once again just a system that creates shortage… for gain) once again we seem to have become pieces of a game on the game board that someone created. May I add we are all playing several games at once! Life, Risk, Monopoly, Operation and the list goes on!

I guess there’s a fear if we were all cared for on the most basic front is that we’d become lazy and complacent? But Imagine if people just found the perfect spot for them, Imagine if every job was deemed important and valuable. Each person was respected and not judged.

Imagine how many more people would be smiling, how much more good will would exist, how much more amazing inventions would be created because it didn’t take money for them to exist, cures for illness, new fuels, new ideas. (not suppressed by existing markets)

Imagine artists that didn’t have to give up quality of life to follow their passion. Imagine farmers that didn’t have to move off of their land because there isn’t enough financial gain from one operation?

Imagine a world where we didn’t take for granted our freedoms and our recourses. Imagine a time when violence was not a form of entertainment. Imagine if we learned from our past and from our history. Imagine if everyone showed up to pay respect to the people who have served our country. Imagine if we reminded our children everyday how lucky they are to live in Canada, Imagine if everyday we reminded our children how lucky we are to have them in our lives.

Imagine the first black president of the United States of America. Imagine 29% of the Canadian Cabinet being made up of women, running our health care, natural resources, fisheries and oceans!

Imagine it has already begun…. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one, maybe someday you’ll join us, and we can all live as one!

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LASIK (Laser) Eye Surgery - November 7th/08

Wow , life looks so much different now after Lasik eye surgery!

The biggest challenge was getting everything ready so I could be relieved for the few days to recover. As usual everything fell in the same week! We had more teachers away at our music store in that week than ever before, Les was off to California, Jesse had hockey in Collingwood and I realized just how high on the care giving totem pole I am and yet it’s good practice for a control freak like myself to accept help from others and allow things to take place without my grand illusion that I am in control of it all!

Staff and teachers filled in for each other and ran the ship, neighbor Cathy covered kids and dinner, friend Denise drove me to London for surgery and humoured my “OCD“ she diagnosed me with.

It was unnerving signing off on the risks and rare side effects but I didn’t feel so alone in my fears as a tall burly man (Glen) mentioned to one of the assistants that he was petrified!

We waited in our caps and shoe covers and could hardly believe the woman who had just left and returned was already done. Glen reported he was still petrified but we were relieved it was such a short procedure! I realized I knew the other woman in line and we quizzed everyone who came out of surgery.

When it was my turn, I laid back on the table and the machine came down above my face. My heart began to pound, my claustrophobic tendancies decided to emerge (even with the Adivan) my body thought it should get up and run but then I decided, only ten minutes, I can do this, and I did. Once I relaxed into it I focused on the voices and lights and procedure, it was really quick, they told me I was doing well and apparently my heart pounding did not appear to be moving my head. Besides my short lived claustrophobia attack it was a walk in the park and I didn’t feel a thing, but I did see everything!

The Lasik surgeon and staff were so relaxed and friendly and the system ran like a well oiled machine.

Leaving was bizarre with frozen eyes and it was so bright even with the huge dark shades they gave us to wear. I trusted Denise to make sure that I was not going to get hit by a car, since my eyes kept wanting to close. I did close them for the car ride home (another strange sensation) and Denise assured me the bumps I felt were not pedestrians.

My eyes were really scratchy but by the time we arrived back home the freezing wore off and the scratching subsided. Then I realized I could see very clearly! Crystal clear, clearer than glasses or contacts! When I woke I could see the alarm clock, the leaves on the trees across the river and at my eye doctors the next morning she even let me read the smallest line on the chart! They call it a miracle and I believe it is!

 

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Credit Card - I'm not a fan! October 10, 2008

Well with all the talk about the Wall Street crashing and the bail out I’m sure it could make any American nervous or anyone attached to them. Everyone always says we usually follow suit, but hey, I was never much of a follower!

The never ending US election seem to have gotten even more Hollywood when the market took a nose dive. I don’t even think movie writers would have thought that one up? Then, suddenly… a Canadian Election and no one really knew why? I always make sure to ask my friend Denise who seems to just absorb and retain information, what’s really going on and who should we believe or trust. Then again we are talking about politics, I’m not sure the words believe, trust and politics actually belong in the same sentence.

Ok so I’m a little jaded, I don’t see the big picture improving that much, but hey who am I to judge the big chugging machine that makes our country what it is. Granted it is much better to live in Canada than many other Countries in this world, but there is always room for improvement!

As far as the money markets and banks go, I think that maybe, just maybe there has been a little credit issue going on in our country and the US. I greatly dislike credit and I am always in awe of people who seem to manage and have bright, shiny credit cards with zero balance. When I’m asked at store if I’d like to sign up for a credit card to receive a discount, I say “no thanks, I’m just not that disciplined, you see, me and credit cards just don’t mix” then I smile, nod and move on!

I know that I can’t be the only one, or the credit card companies would not be in business. They depend on our complacency and our delinquency to make money! That’s how they make money, not from the “I paid before the due date, to avoid any charges” people! I think it’s actually kinda funny when CITI Financial is the one bailing out an American Bank and if you’ve had any financial dealings with CITI I’m sure you’re having a chuckle too, because they will indeed give anyone credit (even self employed people) but boy do they have some pretty meaty interest charges!

The other thing I’ve found really interesting lately is the new pay-pass at Tim Hortons.. now I wish I could talk to the person who wrote first about the Latte’ Factor, you know, you save the same amount of money as you’d spend each day on a Latte’ and after so many years (decades) with compound interest you will be a millionaire. So this must be the Latte’ Factor in reverse! Except of course the interest rates paid will be much higher than the interest rates earned so you should be in the hole a million long before you earn it! You must admit, someone is really thinking… unfortunately it’s just not the credit lovers!

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Too Busy - October 31st, 2008

I have always joked that while I’m forgetful I haven’t yet lost my kids or my purse. But that joke didn’t seem that funny last week when I watched an Oprah show about a mom who while running the kids around in the morning on her busy schedule, forgot her sleeping toddler in the back seat and went off to work.

It was a tragic story as the child did not survive with rising temperatures in the day. It was ruled an accident and the mother, a school teacher at the time was raked over the coals and ostracized from much of her community and the world and has not been employed again since.

Having had such a busy week, when the show aired, I din’t know if I want to hear this horrible story, but I thought that what came out of the program was a positive message and lesson, and it was basically we need to slow down.

This is an age of information and although our stresses may not fall under physical stress, I believe our bodies do take a beating and our brains can only hold so much information.

How many moms can truly say that they don’t have a million things on their mind and find it creates a black hole of forgetfulness. I always consider that my warning system. If I’m starting to forget things I know I’m too busy and when I am unable to change a crazy busy schedule I make sure I write instead of a week itinerary, a daily hour by hour itinerary. Somehow it seems to relieve my brain of the same things rolling over and over in my mind. Sometimes it doesn’t even seem that overwhelming when it is on paper.

The other week when it was nutty busy, I even scheduled in rest time, that otherwise would have been lost time, playing over in my mind what was on my plate.

I know this was an extreme case of forgetting but it is always important to remember that we do have to pace ourselves and relieve our brains from overloading. We don’t have to reply to every phone call, or email, and we can decide how urgent any matter may be.

As women we have taken on a lot as we have moved ourselves into the workforce and sometimes we try to be wonder woman and do it all, but asking for help, as I’ve learned in the past, is not a sign of weakness but a sign of common sense and house hold chores should be split up by the number of people who live in the house (ok maybe that will always be a work in progress) but even a little help goes a long way and may even bring about some otherwise lost conversations!

Post Script: I would like to correct a previous error I made in a column: my neighbor Molly is Welsh and from the British Isles (not England) oops sorry Molly! It wasn’t all bad since the correction was brought to me along with some really amazing tomatoes!

 

Y Ike's - October 3rd, 2008 -

Wow, more crazy weather has fallen upon us! But I guess we should be glad we
don’t live on the Gult,f Coast!

I found myself glued to the Tv watching CNN reports on Hurricane Ike, first
it was going to hit Florida and then it changed course and headed for Texas,
really I just think the weather likes to hit those oil refineries!

I watched in amazement as interviews were done with people who had decided
to ride out the storm on the island, after being warned of facing imminent
death. Yes they survived, but they looked as if they all had just seen a
ghost. I know I’m a bit on the cautious side, but no way, I would weather
out a storm, one street away from the coast in a one story, sided house,
that’s just crazy! Apparently it wasn’t that much fun, all the things they
stayed behind to protect was ruined as the rising water forced them into the
attic. Can you imagine 120mile an hour winds, in an attic without hydro, in
the dark of the night, sounds like the titanic on land. They did admit they
would never do it again. Rescue workers understandably were not that
impressed with these mandatory evacuee rebels as they risked their lives to
save their butts!

Here in Huron-Perth it felt like a tropical rainforest, kinda weird for a
fall weekend in Ontario, people kept saying it was Ike, but I said nope, Ike
is not scheduled to hit Buffalo til Tuesday!

While channel surfing from the Ike coverage I found a show on how to stop a
hurricane and I thought, well that sounds interesting! Theories are in the
process of being tested, one was brought to the weather experts by two young
teens who created a economical and environmentally friendly solution. By
spraying liquid nitrogen into a hurricane they believe they can minimize it.

It was almost as interesting as a orchard owner in Newmarket, ON who is
using a cannon like machine to shoot Ions into the air prior to a storm and
it changes the air so hail cannot form. Apparently neighbors on all sides
had hail damage to their crops and he didn’t.

So maybe part of our changing world will be discovering ways to avoid
natural disasters that we’ve created and then in a few generations, see what
problems were created from the solutions?

Things are definitely stirred up, Sarah Palin will have a harder time
convincing people that global warming is a myth, however the break from
 “her” election coverage was one bonus the bad weather brought.

The most impressive story that came from Ike was of a freightliner who’s
steering broke, stranding it in the ocean, directly in the path of the
hurricane with a crew of 22. I was delighted and surprised to hear the next
morning on the news, after the storm had passed… everyone survived , now
that would be a tall tale for any sailor to tell!

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Happy 90th Birthday - Grandma -September 14, 2008

I’d like to take this opportunity to officially wish Grandma Chaffe a Happy 90th Birthday. We had a great birthday party at Aunt Patsy’s farm on Sunday with lots of generations!

I can’t imagine what it must be like to be ninety, Grandma Chaffe told me she couldn’t believe she was already ninety and she only felt about seventy-something!

It started out as a rainy day but just as we left for the party the sun came out and by the time we got to Patsy’s farm it was starting to shine there too.

Like my neighbor Molly said to me when I was hoping for good weather once “the sun always shines on the righteous Stephy“ or at least this is what her mother always told her, however, she went on to explain, they were from England!

So the large gang of children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren, got together, and it looked something like this:

The children were busy making sure food was set out, chairs were up and that grandma was comfortable, the grandchildren visited and mingled, the great-grandchildren started up a soccer game on the lawn, and the great-great grandchildren had a hoot in the sandboxes. (great-granddaughter Kora who is younger than the great-greats and too darn adorable was carried around and spent some time babbling and entertaining great-grandma!)

It must be pretty amazing to sit and watch all of the people who have grown from your family tree! There was, as usual, a jam session going on. It was great to see Uncle David jamming with his nephews and great-nephews! Now we know where they all get it from! Rumor has it Uncle David has many guitars and musical instruments at home, all of which he refuses to part with.

I was counting guitars in our house the other day and the number has grown as the boys have all taken to playing guitar, Les and Dustin I think are competing for who has the most guitars and of course “the old man” is winning! (but not by much) I’m making my guitars and cases “girly” these days to avoid household theft (borrowing)! That’s right, I’m always thinking!

The day wrapped up with lots of hugs and waves. Grandma told us all to come and visit (of course I think she meant separately) even Max was tired!

It made me miss Nancy a lot, (my mom-in-law) she would have loved seeing all of these little people, especially her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she would now have eight great-grandchildren and her own grandchildren range in age from 10months to 35years old!

Co-band Mom BJ, told she was off to her aunts 104th birthday party. Apparently on her Aunts 90th they bought her a hot air balloon ride, and she took it.

So I’ve decided I think I want bands at my 90th ,birthday party, maybe some clowns and definitely a cotton candy machine, also I think I want to be driving a Harley. Yep ninety sounds pretty good after all!

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Romeo & Juliet - (August __, 08)

This summer just continues to be full of entertainment. I think that’s the sign of a great summer!

Lucas brought a coupon home from school for the Stratford Festival. It was for either Romeo and Juliet or Music Man. It entitled the student to a free ticket with the purchase of an adult ticket.

Lucas really wanted to go to a live theatre production, and I thought, well maybe weI should take everyone as a “family event“. Then a picture ran through my mind of Max quizzing me as to when it was over within the first three minutes of the production, Dustin changing plans at the last minute because he had to be somewhere for band practice, Jesse arriving back from the pool late and soaked wondering if he can bring several friends or “does he really have to go” and then finally Les, who would really enjoy a play would love to go if he was in the province at the time . So after the panic and anxiety of that scene washed over me I decided that it would be a great plan for just Lucas and I to go!

I think Norman Rockwell was just a really thoughtful (and unrealistic) kinda guy. His paintings are amazing with everyone smiling and calm but as a mom of 16years, in a family of 6, I can’t really remember a time when everyone was in the same great space at the same time. That would be like a tri-fector a the race track or a four-fector if there is such a thing! And these days having everyone commit to a specific time and date is like trying to nail jello to a tree!

So off we went, Max was being picked up and treated to a visit with Connor and Avery and Lucas and I were free to experience the Stratford Theatre. Something we forget to do living so close and yet every time I go I am in awe with the greatness of it all.

Romeo and Juliet, as described by Lucas, was “creative” he is far better versed in history than I am and is fun to take because he can explain to me the era and storyline. Therefore, I am not smarter than a twelve year old, but hey he isn’t as good a driver as I am and I don’t even need to put him behind the wheel to know that!

The play flipped from a modern day feel to the original era of the play. Every couple was inter-racial, the play and acting was out-standing.

I am glad we don’t have fathers marrying their daughters off at fourteen anymore but it is good to remember how much we’ve changed. I guess I wouldn’t have had too much to worry about since my dad was the one that introduced me to Les (at age 18) and according to the legend it was Stan and Ron (Les’ dad) who thought we’d make a good pair and so far we haven’t killed each other so, good work men!

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Ted Nugent - ARM THE BEARS! - August 1st,, 2008

diamond dust (photo of Diamond Dust - Taken on Caitlin's Cell Phone!)

I think I had a 80’s flash back last Wednesday night at London’s “Hawk Rocks in the Park“.

Les, Dustin and I made a point of going when we heard nephew Jeff’s band Diamond Dust won a contest to kick off the big event. They received an hour on stage, a fully loaded bus to hang out in, full access weekend passes, rooms, a recording session and they got to meet the Motor City Mad Man himself  “Ted Nugent” who was back for a second year and as loud and crazy as ever!

We stood and watched Diamond Dust from the pit, Jeff standing on his drum kit was definitely the highlight, we were so proud! Great White (who I’d last seen in 89 opening up for White Snake) hit the stage next and we watched from the beer gardens, then retired to the lawn chairs for Ted. It was the best of all worlds. Of course Dustin stayed in the pit with his friends the whole time and apparently was only dropped twice while body surfing?!? Unfortunately they missed that on the jumbo tron.

Ted once again appeared to be entering Canada to preach about his love of hunting, rumour had it he hunted with a hand gun and the video he ran during his show confirmed the fact that he does indeed hunt squirrel with a handgun. He is certainly “over the top” I mean, come on Ted, hunting is legal and we don’t really need to see pictures of “Fred the bear” after you shot him!

Twenty minutes is a bit long to jam out to a hunting video, chanting “feel the Spirit“. Michelle (Jeff’s wife) thought Ted had angered the God’s as a black cloud rolled over the stage, we watched the rain pour over the crowd making its way over us! It was pretty short lived, so maybe it was just a warning?

I appreciate our Canadian gun laws. I don’t agree that arming everyone would cut down on illegal gun use or protect the law abiding citizens. However a great plan was devised last month at Denise’s birthday party on our deck, when discussing Ted.  Rene suggested we “arm the bears” everyone put their hands in the air rock style and chanted “arm the bears”.

So of course when nephew Jeff asked me what I thought he should say to Ted when he met him, I suggested  “arm the bears” and according to Jeff that’s what he said. Ted replied “that’s right man, arm the bears”. So with that thought in mind, I’m pretty sure that hunting will be far more entertaining when Fred the Bear is given a semi automatic weapon, or maybe a simple hand gun to even up the odds. “He’ll be feeling the spirit then”. In the words of Blair Smythe, it’ll be “game on!”.

Now won’t Ranger Smith be busy with Yogi and BooBoo when Yogi says, “hey BooBoo what do you got in that picinic basket“, and he shows Yogi what he’s packin!

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George Michaels Rocks the ACC ! - July25, 2008

Summer is always jam packed full of things to do and with 4 boys it seems as if it is flying by. On those warm sunny days you just want to hit the pause button and make it last as long as possible.

Once again this year I am beating a path to camp Bimini, Dustin is a councilor, Jesse and Lucas still enjoying being campers. Next year Jesse can apply for C.I.T. and Max can try the three day camp. My grocery bill has greatly diminished with one or two gone for a week at a time!

I am happy to say that I did find time to go on an adventure myself with two of my neighbors, Michele and Manon (pronounced like Minow, which is how I spelled it last year, sorry Manon!)

We purchase George Michael tickets back in the winter as I was telling Manon there’s one artist I’d love to sing with on stage and that’s George Micheals, in which she replied, he’s coming to Toronto, in which I replied, lets get tickets, in which she replied, ok!

So it all started at a freezing cold hockey rink and it seemed like July was forever away. Hard to believe now the date has come and gone, but not without great memories!

We picked up Michele from work and headed to Toronto, and of course, hit a traffic jam, so we got to Toronto where we had booked a room at the Royal York (it is sooo nice!) and we had enough time to walk to the Air Canada Centre and begin our wait. Popcorn and a beverage was our supper and then we waited patiently. He was about 55min late, but it was worth it.

What a show, to an enthusiastic crowd of over 14,000 people. He performed on a stage that was a video screen and went straight up behind him about 40ft high, he sang and danced with his six backup singers and of course everyone in the stadium became backup singers and dancers. (so I did actually sing with George Michaels) His band was spread out over three levels behind him. It was a huge production and the crowd went nuts.

He explained that he knows it’s not easy to be a George Michael’s fan, but in this room it was unanimous that everyone loved him and he received two encores. He said he wished it hadn’t taken him twenty years to return to Toronto.

I’d definitely pay to see him again, he’s a great entertainer and amazing vocalist which is often overlooked in lou of his personal life. The concert ended at 11:40 and we finally had supper on a downtown outdoor patio. I wouldn’t want to live there but ya gotta love a summer visit to Toronto!

Post Script: Now I’m going to book tickets for my other favourite band (Lynyrd Skynyrd) at Ontario Place with Kid Rock in August! Ok so my musical tastes are a bit polarized but you just can’t denytalent when you hear it!

 

GREEN SKIES - AGAIN?!?! - July 18th, 2008

Ok not to keep harping on the environment but it will be refreshing when Lucas and I don’t have a conversation that begins with “does the sky look green, do you see that too?” Our most recent green talk took place at 2:00am, Lucas replied “ya and now it’s orange“, and not just for a flash but for several seconds. The smoke detector woke us as it beeps when the hydro goes out and this time it kept going, like the power was surging in and out right along with the bright green sky? No battery to take out and we were just glad Max didn’t wake up, or we’d have had two loud noises to contend with!

Les was off working at the Stampeed in Calgary, so a heck of a lot of good he was! (however he was warding off hail storms for most of the time) We turned on the tv to see if there were any warnings and eventually it began to squeal too. So we turned everything off and listened to the rumble of thunder and watched the light show and Lucas said “maybe Al Gore is right, the environment really is going crazy”.

After the storm passed and I lay awake thinking about a segment from a show the kids were watching about cow manure, (ok so I was really bored) This company was recycling cow manure for fuel and fertilizer. It was an amazing and gianormous operation.

The host talked about cow methane (flatulents) and that it contributes to more than 20% of the green house gasses, which is more than all of the trains, planes and automobiles put together. Now that’s just crazy, our ozone is affected more by cows farting than all of the automobiles put together?

I mean I love a burger or a good steak as much as the next guy or cheese and a tall glass of chocolate milk, but cutting back certainly wouldn’t kill me, it might even be healthy! Also, why am I learning about this from the kids channel? Max is getting better information then me!

Clear cutting rainforests to mass producing these animals may not be a good choice even if the fast food chains need more beef and lots of it may even be thrown away? The quota system sees milk being dumped down the drain and once again I point out that there is no shortage of food on the planet just a misguided system that allows children to starve.

Yes the world would turn upside down if everyone was given enough to live comfortably. This is the only system that can possibly work, I’ve heard it all! Dustin says his brilliant 17yr old friend Mike Roy has written a thesis, or book or something on a new system and I really think we should give the boy a stage because so far this one economically, spiritually and physically doesn’t really seem to work for everyone. But I must admit it does all seem to be about gas these days no matter how you spin it!

 

Canada Day Event - Max's Debut - July 11th, 2008

 

Canada Day was a great success this year in Mitchell. I have been helping out with the event for about 4 years and I think this was the best attendance yet. Actually I know it was, because the Rotary Club ran out of food and I ran out of popcorn…

The event starts at 4:00pm with a parade. Everyone decorates their bikes, faces, tractors or whatever with Canada flags and colours, then parades through town to the park where they enjoy food, games and entertainment!

I usually start popping at about 2:00pm in order to get about 100bags ready (unlike the BBQ guys who started at 3:30, not mentioning any names ((Doug)) Good thing Kristina came along to help me because we were a good 100 bags behind when the parade arrived!

This year we were also asked to provide entertainment, so Les and I, being such prepared people, the day prior decided Dustin would be good on bass and maybe Jesse out on drums? So at noon the day before our family band was officially formed. That leaves lots of times for 2 practices and a few good arguments about who is playing what wrong. Max joined in with a ukulele and Lucas with on acoustic guitar and chanter (pre-bagpipes) he even learned the first bit of O’Canada and being a history buff gave some interesting facts on Canada. Like it wasn’t discovered by Europeans but by the Vikings, somehow with Lucas everything ends back up with the Vikings?

So as everyone ate cupcakes and played racing games (through the duck poop) our family band made it’s debut… and I would say it was a pretty good success. Max was even going to sing a couple songs, so when was over his shy moment he walked up to the microphone to sing a “Three Doors Down” tune and opened his mouth and belched… now that was a proud moment in my parenting career! My mouth dropped open and I could see Bob, Pam and Flips howling in the front row (a perfect response to the mortified look on my face). What do you say to that with hundreds of onlookers?!? I leaned over and whispered quietly in his ear, “no more burping!” so what did he do, but continued to belch out the song. Now everyone in the family was leaning over to tell Max to smarten up! But he’s no dummy, he has the audience right where he wants them and we were a hostage band. I asked aunt Pam if she taught Max to do this, but she was too busy laughing and denied any part in this!

So I must remember next Canada day to remind Max that it is Canada Flags not Canada Flatulence that we are to be focusing on! Only in Canada Eh?

Post Script: I also must explain that we are not a family band like the Partridge Family, rather a family band like Lynyrd Skynrd, and yes Les, I know they were all brothers but those VanZant boys must have had musical parents!

 

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GOVERNMENT APOLOGY TO NATIVE CANADIANS

July4th, 2008

Dustin came home a few weeks ago from school talking about a huge event in Canadian history about to take place, it didn’t seem to have the media blitz it deserved but it was a huge none the less.

I was proud of our government when they released an official apology to Native Canadians for their treatment in our history. (which I did not expect to see in my lifetime!)

It is very true that most of us had nothing to do with the events that took place, or even knew of them, like the fact that children of Native Canadians were taken out of their homes and put into boarding schools (often run by churches) many of the children were abused physically, sexually and mentally.

Stephen Harper said the system had been based on the assumption that "aboriginal cultures and spiritual beliefs were inferior and unequal". The government was basically trying to assimilate the children and “kill their culture and traditions.” (I thought assimilation was a word used on Star Trek by the Borg… too bad the government didn’t know about the Prime Directive)

Harper stated "The government of Canada sincerely apologizes and asks the forgiveness of the aboriginal peoples of this country for failing them so profoundly. We are sorry."

Although it is often easier to ignore horrendous events in history, moving ahead can be propelled through acknowledgements and apologies.

The first school was opened in the late 1800s and the last if you can imagine continued operating until 1996 in Saskatchewan. Most of the schools and churches apologized in the 80’s and 90’s, but in the words one of the first students, "Finally, we heard Canada say it is sorry."

A 30,000 year old culture lost within a generation, many of the families broken and dealing with addictions.

Today most kids (and parents) get rather distraught if the internet is taken away for a day or two, so imagine someone moves onto your land, takes most of it away with promise to return it, brings war, disease and booze, then later takes you children away and abuses them (sometimes to death) leaving a trail of wreckage, how does one respond to this? That’s a pretty big elephant to be sweeping under the rug! This mistake is going to be met by a big payout and right or wrong, agree or disagree, money is the language of our world today!

No one has had a perfect past, many people have experienced loss, no one is exempt, however I believe that we all have the ability to move ahead no matter what. Look at the Dahlia Llama, living proof that tragedy can precede transcendence. I would like to think that we can move ahead and learn from happiness rather than pain!

Some of the most amazing people have come from some of the worst situations and visa versa. I believe we are all born to shine and give back to the world in a manner of absolute perfection.

Mary Simon, an Inuit leader, told the House: "Let us not be lulled into believing that when the sun rises tomorrow, the pain and scars will be gone. They won't. But a new day has dawned."

Post Script … And on every new day, a world of new opportunities opens, for everyone who wishes to rise to the challenge!

 

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Tornado Drive - June 27th, 2008

Summer is here and we have now officially past the longest day of the year. The weather leaves a bit to be desired! I’m pretty sure the farmers are saying, that’s enough rain thanks!

I really can’t say I’m a fan of these extreme thunderstorms! Lucas and I found ourselves in a big weather system a few weeks back, driving home from London as we discussed what to do if you are outside and a tornado hit. He thought look for a house, but I explained, you are supposed to hit the ditch (not with your car but lay down in the lowest place) or go under a bridge. (later I was told bridges are not suggested since they are really heavy if they fall on you).

The weather began to get windy and we looked towards highway #4 as we started onto 23 and spotted a cloud in the distance appeared to have a tail. I showed Lucas and decided since I am a tad bit over-reacting it was probably nothing. Then we saw a guy pulled over on the side of the road taking a picture, so that blew the “oh it’s nothing theory!

Soon we were driving through a torrential downpour, I found a laneway and pulled in, since the only thing worse than driving when you can’t see is stopping and someone else who can’t see plows into you! So we were well off to the side and then it completely stopped. We looked at each other with cautious eyes on the sky and started out again,.. another torrential downpour, so we pulled over again and now it was real windy! It appeared we were in the middle of the storm. We looked to the East and saw the horizon was green, I thought first it was my windshield but Lucas confirmed the green band. On one side of the road it was sunshine and the other rain… we finally made it to Russeldale to find Dustin’s band rocking out upstairs, oblivious to the weather outside, then Bob and Sally dropped in after a warning came across their radio while out on the tractor.

We headed back to Mitchell and it kept following us! Later we heard that Lucan did indeed experience a tornado and now it just seems to be a weekly (daily event) Is this another sign of the global climate change?

The price of gas will definitely bring about some change, keeping traveling somewhat of a novelty!

I also decided that some nice decorative shutters on the inside of our basement windows would be nice so we don’t have to hang out in the fruit cellar!

But when the sun is out I have taken up a new hobby of watching clouds and listening to my mp3 player, it is a great relaxation technique. I was even able to have Max sit beside me on the deck with an mp3 player and we watched the sky and nature for an hour. I highly suggest it, besides summer is too short to miss those beautiful sunny days!

 

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Fathers Day - June 20th, 2008

We have started a new tradition for fathers day, since I get breakfast in bed on mothers day, the boys (well Jesse) decided to make Les breakfast served on the deck! I helped Jesse with breakfast and of course kinda took over, but hey, he was tired from his huge year end events. A grade eight trip to Canada’s Wonderland, the spaghetti factory and then a Blue Jays Game. I would have been done after Canada’s Wonderland!

Jesse and I made a quite impressive omelet, well, actually it didn’t flip so it became a western, the important thing I explained to him about being a good cook is to make it look like you meant it to turn out “just like that!”. Jesse added his usual yogurt and fresh berries to the tray and instead of flowers, sunglasses, since Les was out performing with the “Little Riverview Band” the night before and the outdoors was a tad bright.

Max placed his beautiful card made at school on the chair (given to dad on Thursday, Friday and Sunday) and we enjoyed the great outdoors. Dustin once again was absent, this time he wasn’t even on the property! Lucas was away visiting, this is definitely one of the signs of aging set in, , random children visiting on special occasions.

Later in the afternoon, we went for a visit to see Les’ dad in St. Marys, all the brothers and sisters made it which is quite a feat these days, it was great to see cousins bonding, as 26year old Tara held 7month old Kora, quite an age span but they were inseparable for most of the day.

Dustin and Trevor were busy with band practice, so we 10-4’d them on the cell to say hi to grandpa, and Jesse, well he needed a rest so he stayed home, Lucas and Max gladly came along, Lucas entertained us with his Chanter (pre-bagpipe instrument) and Uncle Perry played his fiddle to his Ipod (docked of course). Laureen made us a great meal and of course lots of pie!

I thought about my Dad father’s day morning, it’s hard to believe he’s been gone for 12years, I made a point of dunking my toast in some maple syrup in his memory, one of his favorite things to eat, however I did not have cottage cheese and pineapple to add to it .. maybe next fathers day! (surprisingly it is actually quite good).

By Evenings end everyone managed to find their way back home. We found Jesse at the neighbors, apparently the house was shaking from the weather, we missed it , Dustin and Trevor drove home through it and Max wanted to know exactly where we were on the weather map, he thought it looked bad while watching the weather network. Ok so I have rubbed off on my kid a bit too much! I look at Les, myself, and our kids, and I know, the crackers didn’t fall too far from the box!

 

 

Just Say No to Pre-Printed School Photos! June 13th, 2008 -

In the last year I’ve noticed a trend with school photos, similar to the raft of pre-printed photos put in front of us at Medieval Times. For some reason it is really hard to say no to the over priced photos when you know they are going in the garbage and I’m sure that is the point of pre-printing.

This past couple years our school photos are coming home pre-printed, not in the pre-order packs, where you decide what you want and need. A pack of pictures arrive and if you pick three sheets you might as well keep them all, but if you only want one or two, four are returned for garbage.

This to me seems like a big waste of photo paper (probably not recyclable) not to mention the chemicals to process the pictures, along with the hydro and other resources used. I am surprised our education system supports this type of marketing when they spend so much time educating our kids on the environment and ethics.

This year I wrote my complaint out with my returned photos (I’m sure my complaint will find the same fate as the returned photos) but I felt it was important to say something about the underhanded marketing skills, environmentally unfriendly practice and guilt tactics that the company is pushing through our schools.

It’s probably not a big deal if you have one child to buy for but I have 3 in the school and I don’t want to feel guilty for not spending $120 on school photos, especially when we only have a couple people to give them to and what are we going to do with the other 50 photos? I think they also know “the kid factor” after they see the photos and really, really want all of them!

You expect it at the theme parks but in our public school system? I know the schools did not come up with this idea, but as consumers it is our responsibility to say what is acceptable, after all we’re the ones paying for the product. Besides, if it’s so cheap to make, that you can just throw it away, why not make the photos so reasonably priced that we’d want to buy them?

I vote that our education system puts in a request that they change this pre-printing tactic and if they don’t they simply hire another company that will agree to it. I can’t imagine there is not a dozen companies waiting for this opportunity!

We need to start speaking up, if we don’t say something it will continue and probably get worse. They are banking on the fact that we are too busy or distracted to say something, but one year later, I’m not impressed and I’m speaking up and writing in!

I‘m sure that if the Board of Education or Photo Companies receive enough feedback, change will occur and I think this world has enough trash already and it is time for a change!

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Low Level Flight Lands in Fullarton - June 6th , 2008

dreamscometrue Low Level Flight

Mitchell High School had a high energy walk-a-thon this year thanks to a student with a dream! Justine Mogk has been a big fan of the first Canadian Idol winner Ryan Malcolm since his first TV debut and has

seen him so many times, she actually talked him into playing for the school’s annual fund raiser.

Ryan brought his band Low Level Flight to the park in Fullarton, the high school kids made a 16km trek to the park from Mitchell. It was freezing out but I guess that was better than walking in a heat wave.

Dustin’s band opened up, they weren’t quite as deafening as in the confinement of the mall, however I’ve made a mental note to join Max in wearing earplugs at their next event!

Les did sound for the event, which I basically volunteered him for. So you can imagine he was extra impressed with me when they arrived to find the stage a couple a hundred feet away, not set up at 8:00am, without bolts and about half of the size of what was needed. So what else do you do besides call brother-in-law Bob!?

Your in luck he says, the wagon is already attached to the truck, within 15mins it was delivered and Bob saved the day!

Now lets not forget the electrician who arrived earlier than the sound guys. No hydro, no sound! From what I hear Bill the electrician was also volunteered by his wife and later volunteered (or as Justin says, voluntold) to help her BBQ and feed the masses of hungry teens.

Our teen PA crew is top notch, they are always ready, willing and able to help and lets face it they have way more energy (and muscles) than we do!

We have a great bunch of kids in the area and it’s good to see them out enjoying the day!

They are a great inspiration, they are young, ambitious and not too jaded by this crazy world.

They are all good at something, our job (as adults) is helping them find what that is, or at the very least what that isn’t.

I was writing constantly at thirteen, poetry, journals, music and yet I ended up in TV Broadcasting, suggested to me by a friend who had a friend in the field. It sounded interesting, I can’t say I regret my choices, besides I might not be here talking to you!

But wouldn’t it be interesting to see what would happen if our teens were given excellent suggestions and feedback on their strengths, give them self esteem and build them up, then send them into the world?

If a teen gets argumentative I don’t tell to be quiet but to go forth into the world and become a lawyer (then come back and pay me for my great advice!) So while the kids are still hanging around us looking for guidance why don’t we just help them all make their dreams come true!

Post Script: Max wanted me to add he is good at basketball and poems and knows everything!

Dustin's Band - Short Circuit:

Short Circuit Short Circuit

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My Brush with Builder Fame - May 30th, 2008

holmes

This past weekend I found myself once again at an extraordinary event in a small town of Perth County.

On Saturday afternoon in Listowel I played music for the BBQ segment at the Listowel District Secondary School grand opening for their Technical Hall of Fame and their new tech-focused guidance department.

This welcome addition is in response to our looming shortage of skilled trades workers.

Now you may wonder who would be best to support and promote this grand opening… well Mike Holmes of course! Our Canadian home renovation hero and of since it was a bit far for him to ride in on a white horse with his tool belt so he was delivered to the centre of the football field via helicopter!

A large crowd gathered in the gym waiting to hear his talk. I was set up on the other side of the gym along with Conestoga College Reps and M&M Meats. I was the first lucky person to build a tool box at the College booth and I must say Max thought it was pretty impressive!

My audience was a captive line up of starving event goers, and they were fun and receptive. I was even lucky enough to get my picture taken with Holmes at the end of the day.

A big thank you to the Knox’s for letting me join them in line! It was fun to see Chesley meet his hero, telling Holmes he is his “biggest, little fan” and he just glowed when he had his picture taken with Holmes and had his shirt signed!

I only caught the last little bit of his talk in the gym but he commended LDSS on their good work and contribution to our skilled trades people in Ontario. Ken Bailey head of the Listowel Tech Department was the main driving force behind the project, but everyone from the school was there to pitch in and the kids helped run the event smoothly.

Holmes talked about going to New Orleans to help design and build homes that withstand hurricanes and to other areas that are dry and prone to fires, he said when a tossed lit cigarette causes 6 homes to burn down and the only thing left standing is the chimney (every time) and you continue to use wood to build homes? It makes complete sense to me and he must really care because the work he does actually puts him out of business!

There was also a fundraising lunch for $100 a ticket with guest of honour Holmes and for the rest of us there were hotdogs and hamburgers! I also found out that Jasmine Hoffer where I played the weekend prior for the unveiling of the energrow system was a graduate of Listowel High School.

More proof that big things can grow in small towns and next time I meet a celebrity, I will be prepared for those tough questions like what’s your name?!?!? I’ll have to get tips from little Chesley who was as cool as a cucumber!

 

 

Soy Futures - May 23rd, 2008

I found myself playing my (deep & meaningful) music this past holiday weekend (at a very comfortable listening level) in a drive shed, in the countryside, near Newton.

The event may not have been heard of by everyone, and maybe not appreciated completely by the masses, but I am here to tell you, there are big things going on near this little town!

I heard about the event at the Stratford-Perth Centre for Business Annual Meeting, that was hosted at our hall in Russeldale, they were pleased to announce one of the members (named Jasmin) was unveiling a system that presses the oil from soy bean for fuel, utilizing the rest of the soy bean for high nutrient animal feed! Now that sounds like a win, win scenario!

The farmer can not only grow their own feed, but their own fuel. A basic diesel engine can be converted (with a relatively inexpensive conversion kit) into an engine able to run on vegetable oil?!?! Now when did this happen? How exciting and to boot it was developed by a woman! Sorry guys, you’re gonna have to kick it up a notch to keep up with the girls!

The system can be purchased for small or large scale operations. The one unveiled was a large scale system about the size of the inside wall of the drive shed.

Food and seating were arranged on the other side of the drive shed for people to wander and mingle. I was the entertainment on that side. The doo-wop girls at the table in front of the stage did a great job la-la-la-ing along with the chorus of Crocodile Rock along with the organizers. The jumping castle (stage left) with children jumping and hooting, made me feel right at home and I didn’t even have to clean up after them!

I am happy to see new and innovative ideas becoming reality, being looked at by local farmers as we grow into a new age! Our world needs more people to come up with new ways to live and work our land. With the fuel prices getting really crazy these days I think this product is a very realistic option!

I emailed friends and family about this as many of them have soy crops and when a product is thought up, designed and put together right in our backyard we should all pay attention.

I thought of my dad that day as I sat in the drive shed, he was always selling new ideas in ventilation to farmers who usually had an eyebrow raised. I spent a lot of my life in this setting, it was a warm and familiar space, and just as I was thinking this, a huge gust of wind blew in the side door and leveled the display on the back table and I thought to myself… hmmm maybe he’s not missing this after all?!?

Post Script: If you want to check out this system you can go online and lookup www.energrow.ca designed by Jasmin Hofer

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Mothers Day Poem - May 16th, 2008

Pots and pans crash and shake

From my deep sleep I abruptly wake

I cannot image what will be served to me

As I still had skipped the trip to buy groceries

But none the less I hear the sounds

Of cooking food and dishes found

My best chef Jesse is on the case

So I’m not too worried with this cooking ace

I hear his orders to all his staff

It’s kinda funny I start to laugh

Les rolls over and with a yawn

Says what on earth is going on

I shake my head and roll my eyes

Its my mothers day breakfast in bed surprise

Oh yah he retorts I almost forgot

But thankfully my kids had not

I don’t ask for cards or gifts or such

No, I really don’t ask for much

But breakfast in bed is lots of fun

And as the years pass they’re much more edible ones

There’s even an extra kid helping out

He makes up for my oldest who is completely passed out,

I’ve done my part I hear the extra kid exclaim,

As he came in from outside, now I’m worried again

My mind rolls over what’s left in the fridge

Slim pickins I think it could be rather grim

Max is excited he thinks it’s a blast,

Lucas wonders how much longer this will last

But with a great big smile

They bring to me

Breakfast in bed fit for a queen

They slowly reveal the cuisine so divine

One is even covered for a final surprise

My eyes glance over the full breakfast tray

And the trip outside I’m relieved to say

Where for the pretty white flowers they picked fresh for me

And placed them around in a flowery sea

I see yogurt with berries in a fancy tall glass

Apples sliced thinly, not much could surpass

Sausage and hot sauce with cheese melted on toast

It’s a little bit crazy but they know what I love most

I looked at the plate and thought what a meal

what else could be left for them to reveal

But as they lifted the lid to the top secret dish

I didn’t know what more I could wish

But there sat waffles with berries atop

Smothered in chocolate

my heart almost popped

Now these are some kids who know their moms heart

Not jewelry or knick knacks to sit on a shelf

And the heavens shone down on this small

Breakfast tray

And the angels did sing, happy mothers day

Now Poor Les had to sit and watch me enjoy this feast

ok I did share a wee bit at least

My yogurt was toppled, but we saved it in time

Perfection is found in these unexpected moments of mine.

So I have now yet another year’s memory to hold

It really doesn’t matter if the breakfast was warm, hot or cold

It’s just enough to be happy with the smallest of things,

Cause they’re really the biggest in life’s grand scheme!

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Mall Gig - May 9th, 2008

If you were at the mall this past weekend I and you heard a really loud sound coming from halfway down the mall, I am proud to say that was my oldest son’s band.

Yes the mortified look of shop owners and hosts reflected the sheer volume of their music. Barb and Jamie and I really thought they pulled it back for the event and Connie thought Caitlin should be turned up!

We did try to have them bring the volume down but of course is a tricky affair whether the musicians are age 15 or 50. And being in charge of the volume reduction was only enhanced by the fact Max was hanging off my leg desperate for another balloon animal.

Not to mention this event fell in the middle of hubby Les’ 10 day tour of the East Coast. So we had already spent a week packing him up and shipping him off, only to lug more gear for Dustin (in the rain) after dropping Jesse & Lucas off in Shakespeare for a soccer clinic! I realized I was now a roady as well as a taxi driver (and balloon animal getter)!

On the light side, our teens rocked! I was a relieved that there was no mauging going on at this event, even though Emmet’s grand finalle` of rolling on the stage did have a lot of impact! I was a bit disappointed that Malcolm didn’t pull out his gas mask and do a drum solo and a fairly concerned that Dustin would require a visit to the chiropractor with his head banging antics. But they were all right on and Caitlin rocked it up, right along with Short Circuit!

So if you were passing by, or a store owner, I do apologize for any hearing damage you may have incurred, but you know these kids are so talented and so focused and I am really proud of them! I applaud their devotion and dedication and it may be “ear bleeding” loud but it’s legal!

I look forward to watching them develop and grow, and when parents ask us how we handle the noise, I explain, we’d rather have them raising the roof and rattling the windows, cause at least we know what they’re up to!

As we finished packing up I talked to the event holders (this was a kick off for the rural help line) and offered them my business card, explaining that I sing deep, meaningful songs, for 40 year old women, much like the ones shopping in the mall and I indeed sing at a very comfortable listening level!

Post Script: In regards to my enjoyable conversation at the lunch counter with my server, here is the actual website to see “the story of stuff” thanks for bringing to my attention that I forgot to put that in my article.. and most of all Thanks for Reading!!! www.storyofstuff.com

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The Story of Stuff - May 2nd, 2008

A while back one of my employee’s (Robyn) showed me a most incredible 20minute educational video on “the story of stuff“. Robyn (who’s leaving us soon to go to school and become a doctor) knows I’ll will watch anything on saving the planet!

The woman on the video along with her cartoon stick people discussed the production of stuff. Questions like how is stuff made? how can it be so cheap? where does it go when we’re done with it? The answers shocked me! I thought I was somewhat educated on this but apparently not.

I was most blown away by the fact that they really can’t make stuff as cheap as it’s being sold, it seems that third worlds countries are giving up their natural resources for our stuff, in hopes to join the rat race. Also the projected sales of the stuff produced is not 50% or 60% but 1%. So, for everyone piece of stuff we buy 99 more are made from natural resources, destine for the landfill approximately 3 to 6 months later (another handy design by companies, making something last only long enough that you will repurchase from them)

Many years (decades) ago I watched a show discussing ancient drawings on a cave wall, the translation was something to the effect that the human race will be presented with a fork in the road, one of them will lead them to riches and gold (material things) with disastrous results and the other choice will be of the higher consciousness, a spiritual journey so to speak. I have no idea why I remembered this but in the “story of stuff” there is a quote (or mission) by the brain child our material system which disturbingly sounded like the prophecy on the cave wall! I find it hard to imagine, our world as we know it, was built on a quote by some guy who wanted to make lots of money from stuff.

So a thought is really that powerful? I think we better start thinking up some good ones, I mean don’t we have enough to fill the stupid pile yet?!

Ironically at the same time the material system entered the world the national happiness plummeted. (so I guess the Beatles were right… money can’t buy you love?)

The video did offer hope and once again we (the consumers) are the magic key. After a trip to a bigbox store and to the dump this past week, I see clearly now, what my part is. It would appear we are addicted to stuff!

I urge you to watch this video, with your kids, friends, family or students, it is so eye opening and you will never look at stuff the same way again!

Post Script: I was most inspired to write about this when I heard that now we are shipping our garbage to the third worlds! Can’t get them food, medication or water, but we can ship them our garbage!

 

 

THE FAMILY DANCE - April 18th, 2008

This past weekend we found ourselves booked up in the live music scene.

Friday night Les and I shared the stage with Randy Satchell and his band, for a good old Barn Dance hosted by the Kinettes. The dance floor was filled and so was the stage. We all managed to fit on the little stage and it what a treat to play with such great musicians! One highlight was the full band backing me up when I sang “crazy” by Patsy Cline!

The song holds a lot of history for me as my mom always sang that song when I was young, however, it was often in the grocery store or in some public place and at age 13, I was mortified, but now the thought of it just makes me smile!

On Saturday night we played at a family dance celebrating Thamesview United’s 100th anniversary. We had no idea of how a family dance would be attended since they don’t really exist anymore. Kids mainly only see a dance floor at weddings and rarely with live music.

It was great to see the dance floor filled with ages 1 to 81. The seasoned dancers led the way around the circular floor at the Crystal Palace and then something happened that was completely unexpected, the younger crew joined in, of course the toddlers were up from the start and having a hoot.

Our stage was also a revolving door with some of our young musicians being backed up by the band and there was even a square dance with a caller and a fiddle player. It appeared that the people who didn’t know what they were doing had the most fun. I almost fell over when I saw the teens trying it out!

The dance was completely different than anything I’d attended or played at. I saw a bit of history flash before my eyes and realized this was something lost to our generation.

I wish the youth could be exposed more to live music since they enjoyed it so much! Max (who slept in till lunchtime the next day) wondered when the next dance would be, which was a very good question!

It would be a great idea to have family dances revived, with all of the age groups, it’s a great way for a family to spend an evening. Particapaction would salute this event!

Since it was alcohol free I’m sure everyone felt a lot better the next morning, the mess was minimal and no arguments when last song was announced! Mind you the barn dance people were quite well behaved and did not question Randy’s last dance notification!

I think we have lost community in some respects and technology seems to have created separation. I thought the teens would mock the event and yet maybe they benefited the most? Maybe there is less of a gap than we think and maybe bridges are built when everyone gets in one room with one thing in common, “music”.

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More Turkey Talk - April 11th, 2008

Shortly after the article about our Riverview turkey hit the paper we received a visit from a gentleman who wanted to chat with me. I was disappointed that I missed his visit as he explained to Les that it was actually “his” turkey that all the fuss was about… apparently the little guy showed up in his back yard as just a wee bit of a thing and was fed, by these avid bird watchers, just a short ways down the river.

He told Les how the little guy was mesmerized by the water wheels in his back yard and would watch anything that would spin with curiosity.  (Which would explain his fascination with wheels) and he would even eat right out of their hands.

As he grew, the gangly young tom wandered our way, his visits to his first home became more brief and after reading my article on the turkey he realized what happened to their little friend. “Dinner” (as neighbor Pat lovingly called him) just had too many bowls of corn to chose from and soon he had grown larger than a roasting pan!

I found out for sure he was a “tom” not a Gertrude by Uncle David as we watched the You Tube footage, he said he was just a “young tom” because his “waddle” was short! (to clarify: the waddle is the little piece growing just above his beak.)

I was also surprise to hear about his visits to Murray’s back window on Frank St.  He was one traveling turkey!

We were reminded by the ministry not to feed wild animals. Now most of us “rural” residents were either raised on a farm, have relatives on a farm, friends with a farm or at the very least have visited McCully’s Farm and are fairly well informed on both wild and farm animals.

For example, my nephew Trevor, informed us to never attempt to grab the turkey as he had heard stories of their wings being strong enough to break your arms. (so we refrained from hugging him) Friend Brad told us a horror story of a fellow truck driver who had a “farm raised” turkey jump on his head as he was about to take another turkey away. (understandably trying to save his fellow turkey!) and yet brother-in-law Tom never seemed to have a problem throwing us in a barn with a thousand chickens when it was loading day! (ok so they were chickens, but still!)  and Stratford has no problem with their prized swans wandering the parks (we all know they can be a tad bit tempermental!)

So many were understandably upset when we heard he was shot (not relocated). We’d have helped with the paperwork if it was a matter of a permit and knew more than enough to help plan a safe and efficient capture! A little communication and some extra effort on the part of the ministry would have been nice. Our mail lady says she misses his daily visits, maybe he was just waiting for the relocation permit??

 

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The update is the Turkey was shot, not relocated, it is sad but true. Apparently it would have taken some paper work... We will always remember our Small Town Turkey! WATCH THE VIDEO

WILD TURKEY NEWS April 4th, 2008

Last fall wild turkey wandered into our subdivision. He was pretty scrawny and looked somewhat lost, however, soon he made himself right at home. Gertrude as Dustin called him (or her) it was a neighborhood debate for quite sometime began to make daily rounds out behind the houses and was fed corn by some of the home owners. Soon he would make his rounds early each morning waiting for his daily feed. We’re not sure how or why he wandered into our area but I do remember about 7 years ago Dustin’s grade 4 class released some wild turkeys out into the rural Russeldale area.

Anyway, he became a hearty, full figured turkey, quite tall too and then started to do something that no one would have suspected, he began to chase cars. Everyone on the street switched from talking about the weather to talking about our turkey. Like the weather some people love him, some people didn’t love him and some just tolerated or ignored him. He became a topic of discussion, I thought I could write about him but we knew his days would be numbered if too many people heard about him.

Now I don’t know how many lives turkeys have but this guy had a lot. He chased my car out onto 23hwy one day and I thought for sure he was a gonner. He warded off a few hostile events and a near miss by the snow plow. Neighbor Jeff enjoyed a good foot chase but we all laughed and said the turkey knew he was a smoker and could outrun him any day! However it was great entertainment on a Sunday afternoon!

Soon the turkey decided he owned the mailbox and all cars were now a target. I felt like I was living at African Lion Safari! I decided before his lives had all expired we should take lots of footage and get him on YouTube? Why? I don’t know I suppose I get bored easily!

So we all pooled our footage and I wrote a song with Les’ expert Blues help and he is on YouTube and ironically it all happened the day before he got busted by the coppers.

The nature people? I heard that they heard about him and he’s not allowed to live on our street so they have removed him and I will be calling them for a statement to add to our You Tube video about where he has been relocated to. I know there are some (who will remain un-named) that would have liked to have relocated him (to the oven or spit) but I’d like to think that he has gone home to see his long lost family (probably in Robyn’s grandma’s rural backyard) and he is just catching up on old times and being set up with a nice Gertrude (since we now know he’s not a Gertrude). What ever his fate, I was totally entertained and will always remember our “Small Town Turkey Blues”.

Post Script: To watch our infamous Turkey you can see him on www.deepwatersmusic.com or when you are on You Tube type in wild turkey on Riverview St.

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A NEW EARTH - March 28th, 2008

Have you logged on yet to the “worlds largest classroom?” Oprah’s online class studies the book “A New Earth” reportedly the largest online event ever! The first evening a whopping 700,000 people logged on simultaneously to be part of a new earth with Oprah and author Eckhart Tolle.

The first night was choppy, I finally gave up and turned it off. The next day the free download was snapped up by 1.5 million people. I wanted to be part of this monumental moment in history, I mean, I missed Woodstock but then again I was only two!

I didn’t want to miss another first, and besides, it didn’t require going any further than my computer. Well actually neighbor Michele‘s computer since the kids computer at home is old and slow, not to mention being used at most time by MSN crazed kids!

The book shares many of the “new age” philosophies but is more instruction than theory. It is an easy read and if you choose, life altering!

It includes quotes from many religions but is not of religious origin. It’s mainly about just “being” and getting rid of that darn ego. Just when you think it is dissolving you hit a life bump and it grows four new heads! What’s up with that?

“They say” if you think you are enlightened go spend the weekend with your family… or the quickest way to find your dark side is enter into a romantic relationship! Humour always helps absorb a point!

This world wide classroom allows people to ask questions via email, phone and web cam. Questions range from a mother’s guilt to the war in Iraq. The answers were outstanding! My favourite was when he explained to a mom how to deal with a three year old throwing a fit. He explained that staying in your calm, ego-less place, while the child threw their fit was a healthier and effective for the child (and you will gain more from that, than sitting in silent meditation for eight hours a day). Wow, at this rate I could be a Zen Master. Keep it coming kids, mom needs some more practice staying centred while you all spin around the kitchen and I cook, clean, answer the phone filling out yet another pizza order form!

The week is on “pain-body” (hidden old baggage) You will recognize it when someone says something unknowingly that makes you head spin around, you turn green, then go sulk for an hour, re-living everything you should have, or could have said, that was witty cunning and right-back-at-ya. And in the event that you do spew the venomous thoughts out, a little voice in the back of your head says “honey you missed the high road again!”

Luckily, all you have to do is be aware of your ego and pain body and they will begin to lose their grip! (Hopefully before you do) Isn’t it great that the world is beginning to change one thought at a time!?

 

Wine, Women & Song: March 21th, 2008

I was asked (by cousin Sally) to sing for the International Women’s Day Celebration in Stratford recently, the evening was rescheduled due to our “last blast of winter“ and held on March 14th, a beautiful night to go out on the town.

The evening was fittingly called “wine, women & song” the name was brought to life by a dream of one of the event co-ordinators who woke up in the middle of the night with the idea.

Women of all ages and musical backgrounds played and entertained in the upstairs of Pazzo’s. The food was donated by restaurants from all over Stratford, creating a beautiful spread. The evening was hosted by Optimism Place in Stratford.

It was a night of surprises, as I was sitting on my stool (with my new Luna guitar) I noticed a familiar face passing by… Katie? I asked into the microphone, yes it was Katie, the student nurse who attended my first birth (Dustin) well it’s been a while, (Dustin being on a trip to England at that moment put it all into perspective) and low and behold Katie was sporting a round tummy (her first) and so, of course, I graciously offered to attend her first birth!

It seemed to be such a magical night, I think everyone in attendance would agree, and if you left early then you really missed the fun.

Later in the evening a young woman Andrea hit the stage she was full of energy, music and soul, she didn’t just perform, she was the music. I think she said she was from Haiti and was on her way to L.A.? All I have to say is look out L.A.!

She brought a friend from Toronto who was of African Descent and sang for us an African spiritual, she translated it for us and had everyone join in, it was truly a moment, soon all of the musicians were joining in, taking a part. Right after (Lucky me) found myself upfront doing an impromptu version of Amazing Grace and I’ll Fly Away, with these two amazing women.

It was a moment I had always dreamed about, yet never really thought it would happen! Being part of the music and experiencing the energy and allowing myself to get lost in the moment (which is a feat in itself!) What a musical gift these two shared with me!

Even after everyone had left and we were packing up, one of the co-coordinators snuck up to the mic and began to sing Bobby McGee (her dream). So I quick grabbed my guitar and began to accompany her (I know the song well!) and Larry the sound guy jumped on the keys and yet another moment was born!

Post Script: So when another dream of mine is realized, I’m reminded, that magic moments always happen when you are least expect them! And I was told that evening, you never know when your small gesture realizes a huge dream for someone else!

 

SICK OF WINTER... Me too! March 7th, 2008

Well I sit here writing on yet another snow day, as I awake to a phone call, 6:30am, with a cold, a day off (well a morning off) anyway and I am now wide awake. I think I am officially sick of winter, all of the snow or clumps of grayish ice that are hardened at the end of laneways and sides of streets.

I think we’ve had about 4 thaws this year and now more snow. I guess I shouldn’t complain, we still have two good size lanes on our side streets in Mitchell, unlike Stratford when I drove down a side street the other day it was about a lane and a half and I wonder what I’d have done if I met another vehicle? I’m curious did you guys forget to pay your taxes? I had heard rumours by some courier drivers that they had met another driver and one of them had to back up off the street so the other could go by, so I guess it was true.

Kinda strange driving to the city on plowed and cleared roads from my country path only to hit the Stratford city limits and find driving has suddenly become treacherous and potentially dangerous. I guess the town has adopted my tardy ways of only cleaning when the company comes?

Ok enough about that, I am probably just sun deprived and whiney from all of this winter! Spring at this time seems so very far away and I wonder if it will ever appear? However I’m sure it will, just like every year before, and I must remember that I feels like this every year!

I can only imagine how grateful the pioneers would have been for spring. They were probably soggy and frozen from the long hard winters and then the first day of spring. I can almost see them stepping outside to smell the spring air and packing up their long underwear. I dream of opening a window and I don’t even have a fireplace for a stove.

When you think about it we are truly spoiled and it wasn’t really that long ago that a trip to the lou meant putting on a coat. It is amazing how far technology has come in such a short period, it makes me wonder where we will be in another generation? Maybe enjoying a virtual vacation?

I’m sure people will still await the first hint of spring when the snow finally is just a memory and the snow boots and mittens are packed away for at least another six months! But the surest sign of spring is when the kids look out the window and roll their eyes at the snow and break out the road hockey equipment despite the snow banks!

 

Medicine - Some Crazy Side Effects! Februay 22nd, 2008

I know it is not meant to be entertainment however I do find the disclaimers for the commercials selling new “drugs” to be quite comical.

I just had to write about it after I heard one for a medication for restless leg syndrome, and the “possible side effects” which included drowsiness in normal daily activities such as driving! Well no wonder it works it sounds like it just knocks you out. Then it goes on to say if you experience “unusual” side-effects like increased sexual urges or impulses to gamble. I mean what would cause that?? What kind of a side effect is that??

K, so you are somewhat safe if you get the side effects because you are too tired to drive your car to a casino. Or (unfortunately for your partner) you were extra frisky right before you passed out cold!

And then there’s the Viagra disclaimer, if you have experienced an erection for more than 4 hours this may not be suitable for you? Or I’m guessing for the wife who just chucked the bottle of pills out the window! We also do not cover anyone who has been injured by a flying bottle of Viagra!

They all sound ridiculous and I am thinking drug companies do not want to be responsible for anything other than making money. I’ve heard that they send doctors on really amazing trips to promote their pharmaceuticals, I can see judgment being clouded by those kind of perks!

I have a friend (who said I could disclose this) ((oh yeah and she’s not from around here…and it’s not me)) who became addicted to prescription medication and it took her a very long time to be on a secondary drug to rid her body of the addiction, not to mention the turmoil it created for her family. I think just because it is legal doesn’t mean it is good for you or doesn’t have any harmful side effects. Hence the funny commercials.

I always think, first and foremost, it’s best to create well being and to allow your body to do it’s job. Our job is to feed it (good things) keep it rested and as stress free as possible (yes I’m serious).

I recently started back into Yoga and I think it is a valuable part of my health care system. It helps my neck, my back and lowers my stress level (even eliminates some cellulite) and I can count threes pills (and an overpriced, doesn’t really work cream) I’d need to fix those areas.

There are drugs that save lives, give quality of life and some we need for a short-term band-aids. We need to be educated about our health and our choices. We are partners with our Doctors and our healthcare and there is really no excuse for lacking information in this day and age especially when it’s only a commercial break away!

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WEATHER - (January 25th, 2008)

Our weather is just so predictably unpredictable in this area. A few flurries in the forecast turns out to be a whiteout complete with road closures. I must say that if I never drive through a whiteout again it will be too soon!

Like a pilot flying in un-chartered territories I now use all of the cool, new (relatively speaking ) instruments available online to make my travels safer and if possible, more predictable.

You see I have several bookmarks on my computer that link me up to make the best informed weather predictions. The most accurate one for the region is the Exeter Radar. This shows you the weather that is happening (immanent or occurring) Sometimes by simply waiting ten minutes you can completely avoid a blast of snow. After awhile you become an expert at reading the data, like if you ever see a burst of yellow inside a larger mass of snow… that is a wall of snow, a whiteout, a white knuckle special… avoid it at all costs!

By checking the Weather Network you can see the amount of precipitation, the wind speed (very important as pointed out to me by my equally weather obsessed friend Denise) and you can even click a button to see how to dress the kids for school that day or check out the 14 day prediction. Always look for a red stripe across the top for any warnings or watches, they take you to yet another page and discuss the immediate crazy weather.

Understandably these are all only as accurate as they can be, I mean sometimes looking out your window is the best reading you’ll get, but they are a huge help. You can plug in the town you are in, the town you are going to, then check the radar and if you’re really quick it should be all within a minute or two.

My kids will tell you the most important bookmark is the Stratford Radio Stations (Mix 107.7/CJCS) since it informs them of school bus delays and cancellations! I always reference their 5 day forecast which seems to be somewhat different from the weather network. I think mainly because they put it into a paragraph form but often it is much more accurate… I wonder where they are getting this intelligent information? Maybe from John Tesch!?!

So in this consistently inconsistent climate, I weed back my travel plans for the winter and accept this snow-belt we’ve chosen to live in. I dream of sunny days and warm destinations and look forward to April showers and BBQs and I give thanks daily for my new automatic garage door opener and my non-snow covered car in the morning!

Post Script: If you can’t find the sites or would like a fast track I’ll post them on my website for any other fellow weather watches!

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Time for a new 'Entertainment' System

(January 18th, 2008)

As I watch the footage of the Brittany Spears scandal unfold I can’t help but think what role society and the “entertainment industry” has played in the downfall of this young woman.

I never really quite understood how the fresh faced young singer ended up in fish net stockings and swinging from a pole in such a short time. I know time is flying by and we are all getting older, but this is not exactly a middle aged woman with full life understanding making choices that nurture her soul. All I can see is a young girl being sold out by an industry that sells sex and stuffs money in their pockets and has no regard for their artists, our children or maybe for anything. I see the same industry profiting from her break down and selling her out further at every corner.

I’ve never really been a fan of Brittany and since I have all boys I never really paid much attention but I always thought her mother was her agent? If she is that’s just tragic! It appears, the music industry is like the political forum, no matter how good your intentions the outcome seems to be tainted by power and greed. When I saw Avril Lavigne looking like “Barbie” I thought what happened to our rebel skater girl who mocked the very thing she’s become?

I felt bad for Brittany as she shaved her head and her substance addictions escalated to the point of her kids being taken away. There seems to be a certain enjoyment people get from watching these icons fall. As Chris Christopherson says “I recon they‘d just nail him up if he came down again“.

I wonder why are we so busy worshiping the marketplace and the exploitation of women? Is it just me, or is it quiet insulting and offensive to have our daughters/sisters lining the pages of magazines in lusty poses? Can’t we just stand for once without our backs arched or our hair blowing, maybe a smile instead of a whatever the heck you call that look on the faces of models? As I’ve said before, true beauty is not as our media is portraying it!

Years ago I realized that as a consumer I only have one vote amongst millions but I cast it by refusing to purchase the rags that fabricate and exploit or by simply changing the channel. It’s not much but it is my statement and I live with a clear conscience that I have not contributed to this system.

I would love to see some new innovative ideas find their way into the market place, independent from the powerful giants, presenting people with fresh, new choices. I mean there has to be something more on the horizon beyond this old, tired, sick system. Something that allows expression of thought & creativity, supporting life and beauty allowing young women (and men) to thrive! I know it sounds crazy but I am hopeful!

 

Another New Year in Place ! (January 11th, 2008)

Well Christmas has come and gone and another year is now in place. I don’t have any resolutions except to fast for a week after all of the crazy rich food that was served up during the holidays! My gifts were great as anticipated! I was even delighted with the gifts I didn’t buy myself…like my Lynyrd Skynyrd box set, my Willy Wonka original movie, Lindor Chocolates and a stuffed moose with a green plaid coat and of course lots of books!

Dustin loved his new guitar pedal, Lucas was thrilled with his new video games, Jesse’ room is now completely over the top with his new Leafs light fixture and we were amazed at the speed of Max’s little legs on his new cycle video game that you have to both pedal and steer to make the game on the tv go. (way to go toy makers) and Les is obsessively loving his full collection of Star Trek movies!

There is one gift that I think we could do without (besides the boat load of dirty dishes).. the amazing giant super germ that wooshes through the masses at the speed of light each year, bringing a whole new dimension to the holiday season! (good thing I was ready early)

Max and I got over it before Christmas, however it was extended with the discovery that Max is extremely allergic to penicillin, holy noodle! I have now discovered the value of tele-health and our great staff at Stratford Emerg. On our first visit we were given excellent care and we grateful for the good spirits of the nurses and doctors even though they were over worked, understaffed and appeared to be no end in sight!

After Max’s secondary reaction and a second chat with tele-health we were back for a second visit around supper time on New Years eve. Max was very concerned that we were going to miss the party at the neighbors (after all it was dark out). I assured him that after a few simple blood tests we’d be on our way. (ok so explaining the lady with the needle took a bit fancy footwork) but he was brave and highly motivated to leave! We were so lucky that evening to be in the care of the chief of the ER, she sent us off to greet the new year with Max’s cleared tests (after her and Max had an indepth chat about Spiderman.)

I made a point of letting her know that after 30years of seeing hundreds of Dr.s from every part of the health system with my mom over so many years, she was quick, efficient, thorough, knowledgable and a great bedside manner to boot, (which just may be the most important part of being a doctor!) The nursing staff was kind and helpful and I didn’t even get a chance to thank those hidden people running tests! I’m sure the waiting room only got more interesting as the evening progressed, like around 1:30am?!?!

So thanks to everyone who worked during the holiday season to keep us covered, cared for, served, protected and entertained! Now that’s a great holiday gift to give and to receive!!!

 

Christmas Shopping Done! (November 30, 2007)

Christmas is quickly falling upon us, let the hustle and bustle begin. This year I am ahead of the game! I am actually almost done my shopping and what a relief it is. The malls are getting more congested with every passing day! I even found myself brave enough to enter a Walmart on a Saturday, breaking one of my shopping rules. However the roads were bare, my stress level was low and I only had a few more stores to stop at and even though it was a mad house, the general masses seemed to be fairly even tempered, but give it 3 more weeks and look out!

I am imagining myself joining the ranks of the organized people, while the last minute shoppers rush about hurriedly, grabbing whatever is the best available gift in the right price range. Standing in long lineups with unenthused service workers and co-shoppers. Rummaged through racks and overstuffed isles and me at home sipping my eggnog!

I still have to shop a bit with the kids, but I’ll hopefully have more brain power and will power in order to do it in a functional and financially sound way… and what’s Les buying for me this year? Well if he looks in the bag beside his jeans in the closet he’ll see that he’s been insightful, thoughtful and generous with my gifts and if he’s lucky they’ll even be wrapped and labeled. That’s right I bought them myself and with my overfilled memory they will probably be a surprise too. I mean, I’m long past the days of “you should just know what I want” and then be disappointed at the shiny new kitchen appliance under the tree. I’m past the list days, since my guys are usually even later shoppers than me and since Les finds over crowed stores as enjoyable as a trip to the Russian Front I think hey, why not!

So now I know I can just sit back and sip that eggnog, the warm glow of Christmas lights blinking in my window, snow gently falling and not impairing my vision on the slippery roads. Maybe even listening to the John Tesch radio show on how to live a more fulfilled and richer life. (With my un-stressed husband)

There have been years when it was not as smooth and I'm sure they'll come again. As many people know illness, loss of loved ones and changes in life do not just go away during holiday time and the holiday season may even amplify the feelings of loss, sadness or of being alone, so this year, whether you are a late shopper or an early shopper, remember, always be kind, breath a little deeper, walk a little slower and smile and be courteous to your fellow shoppers and your Christmas service workers. Everyone is in a different place in their life, remember to look past the retail frenzy and into your heart for the real spirit of Christmas!

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BABY ROSE & BROTHERS (November 16th, 2007)

A while back I had the opportunity to baby-sit some of my great-nephews and nieces. That kinda makes me feel old, but then again Max is older than two of them so it’s just something that happens in big families!

Patrick and Max played at full speed and Alex followed in behind the excitement, being 2 and all, he didn’t want to miss a thing. Rose was almost 1 and seemed just so tiny to be walking. I thought I had three in three years so with my reinforcements (my own kids) I should be able to handle the gang.

The two boys proved my theory that having more than one is easier than just one. You are not the playmate any longer, just the cook and dishwasher. Les was away so the boys were not allowed to leave since I wasn’t sure how much back up I’d need!

We all started out with lots of laughs and fun, Rose seemed to like me and they boys were in non stop play mode. About an hour and a half into the visit, after a messy diaper, Rose decided she really didn’t think I was that great anymore.

I tried all my best stuff, I walked with her, I sang to her, I showed her the coolest toys in the house and she just was not impressed. I looked at the clock and realized we were had about 6 more hours to go and she was crying even louder… Ok so next plan?

Then Dustin walked back in the room. I had just brought him home from a week of counciling a at camp, and worn out but Rose suddenly lit up and reached her arms out for Dustin. No nap for you Dustin! She stopped crying when I handed her to him! He seemed impressed and I was relieved. I said Dustin I need you to hang out with your new friend (& cousin once removed) while I cook supper.

So he talked Donald Duck talk to her and she talked back while I cooked for the troops. Rose happily ate a big dinner and was a happy camper once again!

I think that kids are comfortably with people who are biologically related and make strange much less. This was reinforced with Alex’s last visit as he only wanted “uncol wes” (Les). This may have to do with their dad Jeff often having one or two in his arms when we are over while mom Michelle tends to who ever is needing her attention at the time.

Les’ nephews remind me of him probably since they hung out so much when he was a kid and they 5-10 years younger. I see lot of Perry & Bob (Les’ older brothers) in Les.. They nephews and our boys…For one they are all a bit kooky, great actors and musicians and because of this they seem to just make sense to the kids and are great role models for each other. I look forward to even more generations and might even be brave enough for another babysitting adventure!

 

The Tale of Two Kittens (October 26th, 2007)

When Les and I were out birthday party hopping the other night and we called home to do a routine check on the kids and heard something about cats… Cats? I questioned, what do you mean cats? We don’t have cats! Besides I’m allergic to cats!

Dustin explained “they’re kittens and don’t worry they are only in Jesse’ room” oh well that makes me feel much better. I continued my questioning.. why are they in the house? Where did they come from? Two? And Les’ echo of my phrase, cats? Dustin told me to “Relax” and “Chill Out” and we decided we’d discuss it when we got home.

When we arrived home and everyone was sleeping except two (extremely cute) kittens.

The next day the story unfolded.. the kittens were seen being dropped by a transport on the side of the road by some of the boys jumping outside on the trampoline. However I’m not a hundred percent that the story holds water, since Justin and Evan saw four kittens when on a walk? Are there more?

I have concluded they are not barn cats since they are very clean and don’t smell like the barn. They’re very friendly with the kids, so probably someone’s house litter. I haven’t seen anyone out looking for them and I doubt that they all wandered off together. Hmmm… the transport story actually could be the most logical.

Regardless they seem to be quite at home here and all our pets seemed to have been strays that have wandered onto our property. Apparently neighbor Jeff’s eyes and nose puffed up by simply being with wife Minow after she held them, so he’s not much of an adoption option!

I wonder why people just don’t get there cats fixed if they don’t want them to multiply? Lou (as the kids have named one) is actually climbing on my computer as I write and has now passed out cold making it extra hard to type “q, w, a and s! Sandy is the other kitten, and appears to be hungry, even though they have been eating like little piggies since they’ve been here.

So the verdict is still out on these cute little kitties. If they are yours, you are welcome to reclaim them. A family meeting is still in the works, my allergies are still under surveillance. Max’s dramatic plea “I haven’t had a cat in my whole life” (crazy since he’s all of 4yrs old) and “we never have cats” is now on the record. Jesse’ complaints of being exhausting of caring for them for one and a half days is being taken into consideration. Lucas’ request to be legal guardian is on file and Dustin’s almost affectionate “they don’t really bother me” is going down in the annual log of “under-whelming enthusiasm“.

Post Script: We do have several barns that are open to taking them so they won’t be completely out in the cold if we are unable to adopt and really this was so out of the blue I have no idea how this story will unfold… therefore it is “to be continued”!

 

 

Wombs For Rent - (October 19th, 2007)

Did anyone catch Oprah last week?  She covered one of the most fascinating forms of global marketing I have ever seen!

Women from India are being surrogate mothers for other women all around the world. Now that’s the most unusual form of outsourcing labour (no pun intended) that I ever heard! Apparently there is a clinic in India run by a professional medical doctor and her staff. The medical procedures are done at this high-tech clinic with hopeful mom’s and dad’s making the journey around the world to India and living there for 3 weeks. The women in India must meet certain criteria with regards to health, age and must have children already. (The clinic has a 44% success rate.) All of the pertinent procedures are done and the couple wait’s for the news. If successful they return for the final 3 weeks of the pregnancy and delivery and finally return home with their new baby.

Now the reason this is so amazing to me is multi level. Some people say it is taking advantage of cheap labour (there I go again) however all women know labour is anything but cheap! It is indescribably painful but not cheap!

The fee paid to the women in India is around $5,000 American ($5,000.005 Canadian) Making a difference in their lives that they could not otherwise obtain.

The Indian women described the changes this money made as giving them a safe comfortable home for their family, with a kitchen that they have designed and most importantly an education for their children. Moving them from living in a leaking hut with no education for their children and everyone in a single room, under crushing poverty.

Not only does the woman who runs the clinic help the women surrogate and earn the money, she invests the money and hires the contractors for their homes that she knows will be a credible workers. This certainly seems to be a great example of women helping women, and families helping families.

The American couple interviewed said their lives were changed in many ways. They were almost out of hope as they had spent their life’s savings on trying to get pregnant and local surrogacy was going to be round $30,000. But then they came across this opportunity and found their answers half way around the world! They became educated on another part of the world and formed a unique bond with the people helping them. The women were able to help each other in a profound way, in their gifts to each other‘s families.

In the past when the conversation fall on a roomful of women “would you surrogate?” I’ve always had a firm, no-way. Some women said they enjoyed pregnancy and childbirth and it was a breeze. and yet, I guess, if it was for my own children, my own family’s safety, well being and education, I’m sure I would. Makes you think!

Post Script: Having a baby is priceless and truly a labour of love! (pun intended).

 

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Musical Legends - (October 12th, 2007)

My friend April gave me a couple tickets for my birthday this year to a show called “Legends“ at the Huron County Playhouse. It was based on a mock television special that took a tour down memory lane with the “Roy Solomon” show. It was a trip straight back to the fifties, sixties & seventies, where a musical group of actors, brought back to life, the last half century of music, that shaped our world today. I think I knew every song.

A full band at the back of the stage played the music live, the group of actors singers and dancers at the forefront performed the music that best suited their voice, then took turns backing up the others. Clothing, costumes and backdrops set the mood for the different decades. The host of the mock tv show did impersonations of Jack Nicholson, John Wayne, George Burns and many more.

The theatre and stage were larger than I had expected. Two screens at the top right and left at the stage played video clips from the specific era, showing songs titles, artists and release dates. I found myself calculating how old I was (or if it was pre- me) how old my mom was when the songs came out.

The lady sitting next to me, was almost as entertaining as the show. She was in the words of (sister-in-law) Sally having “a wee of a time”! She appeared to be in her mid-fifties and looked great! She was someone you look at and think, I hope I look like that when I’m her age, I hope I have her energy, enthusiasm and outlook! She was clapping and singing and was lit-up through the whole performance.

The ladies on the other side of us were from the States and were thrilled with our Southwestern Ontario theatre circuit and commented that we were far too young to be at this show. (age is relative to your surroundings!) We were indeed amongst the youngest, however there were some people our age with young kids and I know our boys would have enjoyed it, as there was not a dull moment in the show!

Les and I were in awe of the incredible vocals, flawlessly delivered and we enjoyed being the entertainee‘s rather than the entertainers for a change. We had great appreciation regarding all of the hard work and time that’s put into a production of this level. We sometimes forget how fun it is to actually go out and to be entertained!

We are so lucky to live in an area that has such a wealth of theatres and top notch entertainment. I think I will not only buy some tickets for us for the next seasons at area theatres but also use this as a gift idea, since it was such a great gift to receive!

Post Script: For those people who have everything, hard to buy for parents and grandparents… this sounds like easy shopping to me!

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Back to school (October 5th, 2007)

The kids are back to school and you can see the ecstatic and relieved look on parent’s faces! This fast paced summer left my van officially under the taxi category. The rest of the time I was like a merchant tending an empty store with exception of Max. (when his brothers had enough of him tagging along)

My brain is groaning from the volume of schedules this year with the boys ranging from JK to grade 10 without including work and extra curricular stuff. (according to other parents I am not alone)

Max’s memory is very good, so I asked him to remind me on his first day of school, that he was to take a cereal box. He yelled from the other room “no mom, I have a lunch bag, I don’t need a cereal box” I hollered back “no Max, I mean for a craft, not to eat for lunch”! I laughed to myself and thought, now I’ve been a bit delinquent here and there in the lunch department over the years, however, I don’t think that I’ve ever had to resort to sending any of the boys to school with a box of cereal. My niece Leanne thought that it was a great idea and that we could just send milk money and a spoon!

Max was excited to start school and had a few great first days but about his 3rd day he explained in his 4 year old wisdom that he’d had a “bad day” since one kid was being “extremely aggressive” and I wondered what our conversations would be like in a few years? Will I be able to keep up with his vocabulary? He still loves going to school, he thinks his teacher is wonderful and loves to be dropped off at the playground with his big brothers. I now understand my friends that have four kids and seemed in no rush to let the last one head out into the world. More new beginnings and endings.

I actually remember nursery school, going to Pumpkin House and thinking the word “tarmac” was very interesting, I remember being driven to school in the red Datsun, singing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree” with my mom and I still remember the words! I think Max will remember the blue van and Blue Rodeo! I’m trying to convince him that Blue Rodeo is a band, not a song (as he’s addicted to one song)! Even when I try to convince him that Jim Cuddy’s solo work is really great, he won‘t buy it! I try to switch it up every few months for the other passengers sanity but I can’t complain since I’m still working on back up vocals for when Jim Cuddy calls me up to open up for Blue Rodeo and then calls me out on stage to sing harmony. You can never be too prepared you know!

Post Script: Today events are tomorrow’s memories. Make them good ones!

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Jena Six - (September 28th, 2007)

The racial tension in Jena, Louisiana peaked last week during a public protest. I was amazed to see the retro-like footage being broadcast live from the small town of 3,000. Busses unloaded and thousands upon thousands of people filled the streets along with important leaders. Earlier events were not exactly agreed upon by the residents of Jena, however, it was unquestionable that a racial uproar had been sparked, now known as the “Jena six”.

As I understand it, attempted murder charges were given to (black) high school boys for beating up (white) teens with a questionable weapon (a running shoe), one year after six nooses were found hanging from a tree (where only white students were allowed to sit) the day after some black students sat there. Of course it was “an unspoken rule” and the nooses were an “unspoken message”.

We can all argue about who’s right and who’s wrong until we are blue in the face (then wait til someone develops an issue with the colour blue) but unfortunately racism is still alive and unwell, even though laws and political correctness state otherwise. “Thought systems” run very deep and I believe it was confirmed by one symbolic action during this event.

The tree in which the nooses were hung had been cut down, since it was thought to be a “lightening rod” around this issue. Yet cutting down the tree did not stop the thoughts or the intentions, if anything it amplified them. People were actually touching the dirt where the tree once stood. You can kill a man, you can kill a tree, but you cannot kill a thought. A thought is in the mind which lives on through yourself and others.

11years ago we heard a guy in Savannah, Georgia singin the blues (he was the “real McCoy“). The south seemed to me (at that time) like another world, it felt like a trip back in time. Les & I got to chatting with him after and he told us about the pain he felt when going into the city and seeing the historical sites. Tiny shackles cemented in the ground beside the adult size shackles. I wondered how this would make me feel to see these items being displayed and kept up, reminders of how my ancestors and their children had been treated in such a horrific way? Little like Max!

For me it’s easiest to find understanding by putting myself in others shoes. If depth of perception lies as shallow as the pigment of another persons skin then I think an adjustment needs to be made in ones vision physically and spiritually. I know lots of people of all different races, shapes and sizes and I know without a doubt their soul is the first thing I see!

Post Script: If you are looking for a way to connect with another person just ask them about their children or their family and the barriers will melt away, we are all just people, trying to make our way in the world today.

 

Last days of Summer - (September 21st, 2007)

I stand atop the hillside, gathering with other parents, who await with great anticipation, listening to the swell of voices rising from the flats below. Camp coordinator Carol explains to us what great kids we have and how proud of ourselves (as parents) we should be… another successful week at Camp Bimini has drawn to a close. She warns us to move aside as a loud and rowdy crowd forges their way uphill towards us growing louder and louder.

The worn out and weather beaten mass of children chanting at the tops of their lungs flow by, filling the porch on the main hall and break into song!

I have stood witness to this event several times a summer for many years and yet the sight of this ritual never ceases to amaze me!

I’m not sure of what is the most amazing part of the whole process? Is it the high energy of the councilors and the staff? Is it that I’ve never actually been able to wear out my kids in the perfect way that camp has? Is it that they have organized, fed and kept this many kids happy, active and enthusiastic for this many days in a row? Is it that these kids have survived and thrived without an electronic devices for 5 days? Is it that I had only one week this year of weather related unpacking with the whole bag smelling like a wet soggy sock and after all these years I still have the same eeww-yuck face when I pull out the three day old wet socks, towel and swim shorts, that go no further than the laundry room before everything is unpacked and thoroughly cleaned?? Is it that Carol can remember all of the kids names and greets the “Smith Boys” with a smile every single year? Or is it the great stories told and retold about their adventures at camp? Maybe it is that Jordan still has a voice after the summer? Or that the councilors are still jumping up and down on the very last day of camp while saying goodbye to each other? Maybe it is all of these things put together!

My car pretty much knew it’s way on its own to Bimini this year, as Dustin joined the ranks of staff (in training) and what a great experience he had! This great bunch of teens kept our young kids happy for those five glorious days and send them home in need of a nap for the first time in many, many years! The social skills and friendships being developed by the leaders and leaders in training are unique and invaluable!

As we made our final trek up the hill with all of the bags in tow for the final week of Bimini, with the sounds of camp fading behind us along with the echos of campers of years gone by. I knew for sure summer was coming to a close. Now as I write this I look out the window to see fall in the air and I know next summer is only a whiteout away!

Post Script: This summer marked the 60th anniversary at Bimini and I heard a camper from 50 years ago was planning to attend the celebration, happy anniversary Bimini!

 

 

My Adopted Mom (September 14th, 2007)

Once upon a time (just kidding) a while back I ran into a good friend of the family that I hadn’t seen for quite a while. Shirley had just gotten back from Vancouver where she had been visiting her daughter Joanne who runs a wonderfully successful restaurant called “Tartine”, apparently the cracker doesn’t fall far from the box (or the crust far from the toast) as Shirley is known for her amazing pies and cooking. It was great to see her again and catch up. A few days later I was in need of some company for our younger boys as we were going out for a full day so I gave Shirley a call and she said she’d love to come for a visit.

Shirley showed up with two pies, chocolate and apple, she wanted to have all her bases covered, the boys were very impressed. Of course after supper and pie they had to out for ice cream, the boys were pleased that someone finally understood them the way their grandma had.

Max showed Shirley his video games and they played although Shirley admitted she had no clue as to what to do with the controls, but in Max’s eyes she was pretty cool for taking part. She listened to all of the boys stories and when I arrived home I was able to enjoy a visit of my own.

A few weeks later we repeated the scenario and this time they cooked corn on the cob together and of course had more ice cream! Then while listening to Jesse’ plans to become a chef one day I had a bright idea (I have them frequently) and I thought wouldn’t it be perfect if Chef Jesse could learn from Chief Chef Shirley!?!? So I asked her if he could have a few cooking lessons and they agreed to bake me a birthday cake for my party. First they practiced on a peaches and cream pie… out of this world, made from scratch. Then carrot cake serious cream cheese icing. It was gone pretty fast and everyone went crazy for it!

I also enjoyed working in the kitchen with Shirley as she helped me prepare for my party, it was so comforting hanging out at her place and it felt a lot like cooking with my mom. We even took a shopping trip in London with her friend Alice. It was great, they were helpful, informative and there was absolutely no complaining or are we done yet?!?

I let everyone know at my birthday party that I had adopted Shirley and that she really had no choice, which I explained was kind of like when you have your own children you just get what you get… and here I am. Shirley laughed and I promised to be a good daughter and to share her with Joanne and son Brian, she will of course have 4 more grand children, but hey that’s the price of perfection!

Post Script: Maybe you can chose your friends and your family? Sometimes the perfect solution is only a phone call away!

 

What's the Hurry? (September 7, 2007)


What is the hurry these days? I am blown away by the speeds that everyone is driving on the highway these days and no I’m not one of those loiterers the highway I am an average speed driver. Now I do understand that in many of the new vehicles you feel like you’re sitting still when going under 110km but there is a cool invention called the cruise control and it can be set to maintain a set speed and keep that heavy foot from pushing down on the mat! The other thing I have noticed lately is a complete disregard for a solid line, or a double solid line. People are passing everywhere!

While I am driving a decent speed I have been passed on single solid lines, double solid lines, hills and curves. I mean where are peoples brains? This is not a video game where your car blows up and then you get a new one!

Recently I heard about a friend on her way to work and as she reached the top of the hill she was looking at 4 headlights and with one second to react all cars hit the shoulder, including the one following her and the car being passed hit the ditch, of course the fool passing did not stop. Now had anyone been not looking at the road at that exact second and any one of those cars not had a split second reaction, everyone would have been involved in a highway speed head on with 4 cars. I can’t see that you can be in that much of a hurry that being dead is a good alternative? Or causing someone else’s death is an acceptable consequence. Not to mention the legal ramifications.

You can’t even blame it on young drivers anymore or any one sex it seems to be crossing all borders. I know accidents happen and often they are just that accidents but when you are knowingly taking unnecessary risks with your life and everyone else’s around you, you need to stop and think what’s the hurry and how and when exactly did I become such an impatient person?

Questions of conscious should enter the mind like - it is a whiteout and the roads are really bad, do I really need to pass? Should I really pass on a curve or a hill when I can’t see what’s coming? Does a transport really need to pass me on the county road to go over 100km per hour? How many times have I ended up at the same stop sign as the guy who just passed me?

You cannot always take back your actions and highways are not the place to try your luck at the roulette wheel.

Post Script: I hear that you will live longer and happier by taking the quieter scenic route to your destination and my brother-in-law Bob asked me to mention to smokers, please stop flicking your butts out the window! I say, keep your butt inside the car at all times!!

TOY RECALL (August 31st, 2007)

It is interesting to say the least the toy recall frenzy that is going on right now. Maybe the cheap prices are going to carry a cost for us as consumers. Most of our toys are now made in China and for one simple reason, cheap labour which of course brings more money to the huge corporations. All the while we have been enjoying the cheap prices, in fact we as consumers demand cheap prices. Outsourcing the labour has become the norm for the large corporations as it feeds their profits and I guess it makes sense from their point of view to make 10 times the profit, however how often does greed really pay?

If they were to say we want to share the wealth and bring a better standard of living to other workers in other countries then sure their intentions would be honorable but that is not the case, they have no issue with poor quality of life these individuals may suffer by not having a fair income, in fact, in many ways they are directly contributing to the oppression of the planets unfair distribution of wealth, while selling us unsafe toys for our children. Now that’s just wrong on so many levels… where does one start? Will there ever be enough profit for these companies?

Listening to the news sources I find it interesting what conclusions are being drawn. There are not enough regulations to insure that our children’s toys are safe, there are not enough workers to inspect the volume of toys that arrive on our door steps. The toy companies are responsible for the integrity of the toy and yet it appears that they would like to push that responsibility back on the manufacturer, but wait, they are all the way around the planet working for next to nothing and stamping North American toy names on the packages so they can develop a larger profit margin! Hmmmm.

Now the most interesting part of this whole situation is… what is the most likely situation you could create people to move who are in general complacent and accepting of most of this system? (that’s us) Mess with their kids… now that’s a situation worthy of sparking change. It will bring the consumer to the forefront, you don’t mess with our kids and I’m sure these corporations are well aware of that fact. We walk miles and go to unimaginable lengths to care for our children. I would say in most cases they are first in our priority line. This will indeed dramatically effect the market and the system that has been riding along the gravy train without much resistance, until now. Parents, grandparents, children, are a huge part of the market.

Did you know at the casino’s in Vegas it is not the high rollers that make the money but the little nickel, dime and quarter slots that generate the income at something ridiculous like a million dollars a minute. The big guys understand this concept, now if only we would take a good look at it and see our role the and the changes we could spark as the masses, now there’s an idea worth toying with!

Making the time to Believe ( August 24th, 2006)

Project Believe, my newest cd. It’s not the first or the last but it is certainly symbolic for me. It all started with a conversation with my oldest son Dustin about what we’d do with a million dollars, I said I’d want to record all of my music and then as if being hit by the “duh” stick, it hit me. I had everything I needed except time and time is something we must create for ourselves.

I hadn’t made a commitment to find the time for that one thing that was so important to me. It was a light bulb moment and the project became unusually effortless, everything I needed seemed to become attainable with this simple shift in thought and it became more about the journey than the destination. It’s nice if other people like it but it’s more about being authentic and taking time for myself. I began trusting my instincts and having fun with the project.

Writing in all forms is my passion. The actual song Believe was written several years ago about following your dreams, putting your heart and soul on the line, being vulnerable (I don’t do vulnerable well!) and having the courage to Believe.

We are all good at something and everyone has something important to offer! It’s not about becoming something more its about letting all of the excess fall away, like a rock at the hands of a sculptor.

At the Arctic Circle where scientists live year round, it is not the doctor ,or the scientist that is the most important person it’s the guy who runs the generator, without him everyone else would parish. I wonder why we give so much credit to so few titles. I love the Star-trek episode where the one species has bred out the so called “birth defects” and ironically Jordy (blind since birth) finds the solution to the planet’s life threatening issue with his “visor”. I often think we know so much and see so little.

I tell my music students that if fear is the only thing stopping them, then they must lead the fear. It will pass! (so of course now I must practice what I preach!) The first time I sent in my writing to Jim at the Gazette I hit the send button on my email real fast with my eyes closed before I could change my mind. Now every time I take a new step forward it gets easier and more natural. I envy people who seem have this naturally. In the end all that really matters is that I have lived up to my own expectations and that I won’t look back on my life with regret. I think that’s what life is really all about! And I hope by reading this you will decide, if I can do it… anyone can do it! Whatever that “it” may be for you!

Post Script: You are never too young or too old to follow your dreams! Cease the moment, start now!

 

Turning 40 (August 16th, 2007 ((My Birthday))

I am turning 40 this Summer! I remember being little and thinking people my age were ancient and now 60 something sounds pretty young! At about 38 I began dreading my inevitable aging. I worried and thought about time rushing by, and then I started doing something about it. I decided to do as my favorite speaker suggests and have a mid life awakening rather than a mid life crisis. Anyway the crisis thing has been done to death, so forget that, I’m going to enjoy this new chapter of my life BECAUSE…. Now I am old enough to know: I don’t have to say sure when I mean no thanks or go everywhere and do everything out of obligation. I’m getting real clear about what is important in life. Being afraid is not a good enough reason not do what you really want to do. Excuses waste time, blaming is just a cop out for not taking responsibility, being angry is silly and telling people they are great is even more meaningful when it is not in a eulogy!

Time is really the only valuable commodity on this earth (besides your health) and it is even more valuable when it is spent loving your life and the people in it. Surrounding yourself with healthy positive people will bring you wellness and happiness which will bring you friends and help you to keep them. (and if it doesn’t who cares because you are just having such a great time with yourself!)

You can have lots of money and still be a jerk. Kids love to be loved and learn to give love by receiving love. Don’t wait till they are 15 to teach them stuff, start immediately after birth.

Self care is not an option it is a necessity. Mom’s are the hub of the family and if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! When life deals you a crappy hand make sure you become better not bitter! Wrinkles and stretch marks are well earned! Marriage is an ongoing multidimensional event that has many beginnings and many endings and never stops growing. New chapters in life are always interesting.

Never make a life decision during PMS wait 48 hours, life in prison is a long time! Nothing curbs a craving for chocolate, like chocolate. The best way to stop worrying about your weight and health is to exercise and eat right. Comfort foods are comforting. You’ll never go away an ass and come back a horse. Push your brothers boat ashore and lo’ you’ll have reached the shore (Hindu proverb). If you’re concerned about liking a gift, buy it yourself. Perfectionists are always right, so If you don’t like the way others do things get use to doing it yourself.

Saving the earth and feeding the hungry will always be on my list of to dos. My inbox will always be full. The world still goes on even after we’re gone, this is not a dress rehearsal. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or at least makes you mad enough to go forward. And finally some of us are on the six o’clock and some of us on the eleven o’clock, but eventually we all end up on the same train outta here.. So enjoy here while you’re here, cause there’s no here there!

Bridges (August 9th, 2007)

I just finished the final Harry Potter book and what a ride! I must say the action started on the first page and didn’t stop until the end, what a great finale to the series. I didn’t know what to expect from book seven, but after getting hooked many moons ago on the series, I had to go out and pick it up shortly after its release. I was urged to wait by Lucas who said maybe mom you should wait until your birthday just incase someone might buy it for you, but I told I couldn’t wait and it could be an early birthday gift! (I must admit I am a bit juvenile sometimes)

I went into a power read purchasing the book on a Friday evening and finishing it the following Friday morning. I would have been much quicker, but with work and family and all, I had to squeeze it in. Les just gave me the look and said you’re just not going to stop until you’ve finished it right? and yep that pretty much covered my plan. I was extremely concerned that the ending would be leaked to me, ruining the final book. In the past several key details from prior books had been let slip by either my kids or their friends who finished before me. I also suspected that someone would post something on the internet and potentially cross my computer! One day Jesse arrived home with new details from his buddy Mathew who is a much faster reader (with more spare time) and he was just itching to tell me so I banished him from earshot and forbid him in repeating anything he had heard, and started reading even faster as I knew it would only be a matter of time until Jesse spilled the beans!

I think the most fun about this series is the fact that I can enjoy them with the kids, I practically dragged Lucas to the latest movie (socialite Jesse already seen it twice). I just love this new phenomenon that is going on right now with generational bridges being crossed with music, books and movies. So many favorite childhood movies are being remade with new amazing special effects and whatever helps us cross those bridges with our youth is fantastic.

Just the other week Les and Dustin went to see Deep Purple in London, it amazes me how many kids are listening to the same bands we did at their age, and I thought to myself, those guys seemed pretty old when I was 14. Ted Nugent (who Dustin thought was Ted Nugget) also played, surprisingly, since he was mad at Canada several years back because we wouldn’t let him shoot our bears, (which he did mention on stage) but apparently it wasn’t enough to turn him off of accepting our Canadian work and Canadian money at the end of the night!

Post Script: …and with these new bridges comes new opportunity to keep an eye on your kids at their (your) favorite concert… I always say you just can’t kid a kidder!

 

LIVE EARTH CONCERT (August 2nd, 2007)

I was happy to see the Live Earth concert televised world wide on 7, 7, of 07. With 6 venues, in 7 continents. Hundreds of well known artists spread the message of taking care of the earth. Al Gore was one of the key people and the question still looms.. Will he run for president? I say, why would he? I mean if you have 7 continents listening to your message that you have been trying to bring to the world for over 30 years, why ruin your success by running for government. It does not appear to me that any timely solution will be coming out of government systems anytime soon. It seems to me this is in our hands, as residents of the earth. I believe this is a moral issue and if the message the advocates of the environment are trying to send is as simple as unplug your cell phone charger when not charging your cell phone, turn the lights off when you leave the room, turn the air down by a few degrees, try walking or biking when in town or support renewable energy then why not just change today? Are we so rooted in our comfort that we cannot accept even small change? I always predicted our future leaders would be from the entertainment industry, unfortunately I don’t think that this many people would have gathered or tuned in to listen to a group of environmentalists or politicians, but you bring Sting, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Madonna, Garth, Trish, Phil Colins, Bon Jovi, Leonardo Decaprio and so many more to the stage and who wouldn’t tune in to hear what they have to say? I was a bit disappointed that they didn’t call me to sing or speak but hey there’s always next year! I saw a review about a documentary called “what would Jesus shop for” and the mock evangelist’s message (in a nutshell) is we are over consuming and need to stop. We have things piled upon things while still shopping for more things! Things are really cheap but can the earth handle all of our things we no longer need? I think there is a consumer craze that we have collectively bought in to and need to collectively let go of. I recently learned that even our garbage releases emissions! I definitely have some serious work to do, however, I believe if I don’t change now, eventually it will be inevitable. Simplicity is not only good for the soul but reasonably priced! The cycle of over consuming creates a cycle of overspending, putting a whole generation into an unknown set of circumstances in an exciting but fragile new world. We need to take steps into the future with care not complacency. Locally and globally we are becoming accountable for our actions as residents of the earth. David Suzuki describes the climate situation like we are all in a car heading for a brick wall at 100miles an hour and we are all fighting over which seat to sit in and someone needs to say “hit the brakes!” His micro spot on the weather network pales in comparison to Paris Hilton’s media blitz on her two week trip to jail, I mean did Nelson Mandela receive this much press? Are we being distracted by the media? Why? Ruled by debt? Working to pay for more cheap stuff? Is it worth it? What exactly will this outcome look like? Are we like the fly entering the spiders web soon to be dinner!? How many shoes do we need and will they help us when we need to outrun this new crazy weather?? Why am I still writing about the environment? Will I ever be done? Probably not!

Post Script: I have started using cloth bags and green tubs when buying groceries and when I forget Dianne at the grocery store threatens to write the paper. Talk about being held accountable!!!

 

Max's Story (July 27th, 2007)

Max our youngest has turned 4. I wrote earlier that he is an article on his own. When we tell people the boys ages (Max being 7 years younger) you can see the thoughts running through their heads, so before they can ask or draw their own conclusion I explain: yes he is from the same marriage, yes he was planned and yes I am very happy he is a boy! (oh yeah, Yes we are done!)

Max’s birth certificate shows his birthplace as West Perth as he was born at home. Yes it was planned and yes we had a midwife. (Or as Jesse liked to refer to her “our fairy God mother”). Several months into my pregnancy a new midwife joined the Stratford practice and I was able to receive her care. She was fresh out of school (already having attending something like 150births) and this was #4 for me so I thought we’d make a grand team! I had the best of both worlds, spending the first five months with my family doctor & nurse (the best on the planet) and then a midwife which was something I had always wanted (and later I even considered it myself as a career option). It was truly a gift to be in the care of someone so kind, knowledgeable and willing to talk about my thoughts, concerns and questions. I was given literature to educate myself and to help me to make decisions regarding the birth. I had never entertained the idea of a home birth but somehow it began to appeal to me. My only hesitation was, no drugs, I had only used the laughing gas at the hospital but to give up the option was somewhat un-nerving! Most women who have midwives deliver in the hospital (they have full hospital privileges) and are fully covered in Ontario from conception until the baby is 6 weeks old. I liked the idea of going to an office for pregnant women as opposed to an office for sick people, especially with all of the SARS concerns at the time. My mom was at the birth and my sister-in-law Sally. Sally multi-tasked between making sure the boys were fine, assisting us during the birth and making sure my mom didn’t pass out! Apparently the stuffed rabbit she gave my mom to hold didn’t fair so well! Max was born fast and weighed in at a whopping 9lb2oz. Early the next morning we woke to find the boys sitting silently at the end of the bed staring into the bassinet at their new baby brother. (exactly what Lucas had wished for). Recovery was really comforting in our own bed, Les and the boys served me meals and my midwife did home visits. After recovery Max tagged along to scouts, soccer, hockey and school events. He potty trained himself at about 1&½ years and was speaking clearly before 2. He had an unusual first year of visits with Grandma and I to the London cancer clinic for Grandma’s treatments and he certainly brought joy to the waiting rooms with his winter “jester” hat and his cheeks that went on forever. We stopped every few feet to greet people and the nurses would often scoop him up and head off to visit with him! Everyone seems to know Max, he has already been on many stages and is a local volunteer. We don’t for sure know what Max’s life’s journey is but we think it will include being in charge!

Post Script: My most favorite fairy god mother always laughs at me when I question her on how proud dad Les gets the centre photo board spot without giving birth???

 

(June 29th, 07 ~ Stratford Gazette)

Video Games & Laundry

I have recently discovered that my three year old (almost four) is a better driver than I am. Don’t worry he was virtually driving on Jesse’ Game Cube. The whole family was surprised at Max’s new found skills as he put us all to shame on the racetrack and the basketball court. He explains the game to me, shows me which buttons do what, helps me pick out my vehicle, team, colour and when I am not going quick enough he takes my controller and proceeds to do it for me, explaining it as he goes. Our older son’s have learned how to barter, trade, make a living and rule small countries on their computer games. Dustin at 14 now plays the guitar, bass, drums, sax and fiddle surpassing me musically (long ago) and giving his dad a run for his money. (I tell Les that when the student passes the teacher, that is true success.) Jesse plays sports, knows every player on every team (especially the Leafs) and Lucas has started making Lego movies, frame by frame with a video camera. I think I’m like many parents when I find myself in awe of their abilities and complex thinking patterns and yet completely confused by the fact that the same children cannot find a laundry hamper, a garbage or a kick stand on their bike? Many years ago I heard a parenting expert explain that if your child can run a computer then they can run a dishwasher, a washer, a dryer and other household appliances which made perfect sense so I trained them early. Having said this I still find myself standing in front of an unenthused audience explaining slowly and frequently things like coats go on a hanger, shoes go away, lunches if not eaten should be unpacked within a day not weeks. Socks do not belong under the couch, bikes should be not left in the centre of the walk way and that toilets are not general targets! Clean clothes don’t belong in the same laundry hamper as dirty ones and 10 minutes before school is simply not enough time for me to find and wash a uniform or make a trip to the store to buy the supplies needed for a project due in third period! I catch myself sporting the same look on my face as my dad as he stood frustrated in front of us kids asking us why our coats were on the floor and to please quit wrecking his stuff. Way back then I had the same look on my face as my kids do now when they look at me like “you are so uptight”. Dustin’s favorite word is “Relax!” which can be a challenge when you are trying to keep things somewhat orderly in the midst of a cyclone. I read that cleaning up after a family is like shoveling while it is snowing. Sometimes I find myself dreaming of a spotless quiet home and then I remember a conversation with a woman who said she envied me as she did not have children and would never have fingerprints and peanut butter smudges in her orderly home. I also remember a writing by Helen Barker about stolen moments with the children while dishes and laundry waited and to forgive her for the left behind chores as she spent time with her babies. I always strive to learn from other people’s insights and hind-sights and to not “sweat the small stuff” even when it is big stuff and you are tripping over it and when I’m in need of some comic relief I watch the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin putting it all back into perspective!

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(June 22th, 07 ~ Stratford Gazette)

1 year later

Its right around a year now since we moved out of our last house and lived our summer adventure out at the campground. It seems that there is something significant about 1 year. It is like you can actually stop for a moment and look back, maybe it has sometimes it has to do with the seasons. Whether it is a change in location, a new job, the birth of a child or the loss of a loved one, there is definitely something that brings reminders as you fall upon the one year marker. The smell of summer reminds me of what we were doing last year at this time, which was moving as fast as we could with our 3week closing! You may or may not remember my summer in the trailer story. I think like most people who live in this area we find winter is a time to bunker down and spring and summer is when neighbors and community re-emerge back onto the sidewalks, yards and roadways. We moved into our new home at the beginning of August and enjoyed a few weeks of sunny weather, then the cloudy and rainy weather started and then snow and more snow. I thought it would never end. Now I must say I am lovin it again as I enjoy the great view from our deck. It was always a dream to build a new home and I never really thought it would happen at this time in our lives but it did and we are very happy. We have great neighbors and even though we have moved in to town it where we are feels more like a village with lots of nature, we have bunny’s, geese and a groundhog. Our real-estate agent was adamant about this property and builder, the thought of morning coffee on the deck sold us! She is like family and we had a lot of laughs during our crazy whirlwind move. Literally the moment we sat down and said we’ve decided on our new property her cell phone rang and it was about our house we were selling. Now that was timing! Our new neighborhood is an eclectic bunch from all over the place, we have Goderich, Clinton, Exeter, Milton, Stratford and a few of us from the rural outskirts and of course the original street crew. We all seem to get along great, everyone is quite pleased with the new area and Les and I are always in awe of Carl’s green grass. We wonder if that is how he won his wife Michelle’s heart.. By having the greenest grass on the block… he also wins pine sheds and cash. We are all rubbing elbows with Carl hoping some of his good fortune will rub off on us and we all agree that the grass is greener on the other side of the property line! As far as going back to the trailer we haven’t been quite as keen since a bit of the novelty wore off. I’m sure the pool and the beach will lure us back as the days get warmer and longer, when all of our friends start to frequent the campground again, and now that there are new owners we hope our slate is clean and we will try to not sing songs from the 70’s after midnight this year!

 

(July 5th, 07 ~ Stratford Gazette)

100 Mile Diet

I recently was listening to a woman speaking on the 100 mile diet. Apparently it has nothing to do with chocolate having zero calories if found within a 100 miles of my home but it did have an equally good message, helping our local farmers. (who as my mom once stated are “out-standing in their fields”) Many of my relatives and friends are farmers so it is a topic close to my heart. I make a point to pick Canadian produce first even if it is more expensive, and Ontario produce before Canadian when available. The speaker talked about labels and food standards as some terms mean it is only packaged in Canada and other countries food standards (which I have always questioned) are not the same as Canada’s, yet sold along side our produce with the same stamp of approval. The global market which is now a part of our everyday lives is so complex you need a PHD to figure out how to shop and what to eat and what all the labels mean! (like what does “light” really mean?) When Larry King asked Depok Chopra (one of my favorite speakers) what we should eat he simply stated anything without a label and I thought ain’t that the truth! Even though that is pretty unrealistic for me (and for my kids who love shiney packaged stuff) I do continue to strive towards this and it would certainly fall under the 100 mile diet. I always loved going to the farmers market as a little girl growing up in Kitchener, it was so neat with all of it’s sights and smells and sense of community. It amazes me that we can import food cheaper than produce it locally and if we are so good at importing/exporting why can’t we can‘t get fresh food over to countries with starving children? I mean you can Fedex something pretty fast around the world. Did you know that each day 30,000 people die of hunger and it has nothing to do with a shortage of food on our planet. That is like the size of Stratford, everyday, gone. Studies have been done stating that our planet has enough recourses for everyone to live like millionaires and yet we don‘t? We need to question why Bono is doing more work at saving the planet then our government? Why do we support systems that suppress rather than support or better yet thrive?? We are now part of a global village, our electronics come from half way across the world, IBM’s new call centre is located in India (since they will work for $5,000US/year) and as much as I hate to see jobs leave I’m sure they are in need of work. I know that a woman working across the world to make a garment that I purchase also needs money to keep her family fed, clothed and safe. We should be proud of our local farmers who participate in Food Grains Projects helping to feed the world. I think as Canadians we are capable being very self sufficient and yet very giving. Ok so I probably won’t figure this all out today and my plans to save the earth may take awhile but it is definitely some Food For Thought!

Post Script: Now if we could only get our government to focus on harnessing our East Coast wind to create some serious renewable energy for Canada and jobs for the Maritimes.. Lord Tunderin Gees’ Bye it would only make sense after we gave away all of their fish!

 

Environmentally Speaking

The other day I found myself reading the packaging on toilet paper rolls at the grocery store and realized in that moment that I had to make a decision on just how committed I am to our environment. I had read a Green Peace article that stated the Kimberly Clark Company was using an ancient forests to make toilet paper which I found both disturbing and unnecessary. I spotted a package by PC labeled, “green” bathroom tissue, and decided investigate to see how they have made their product “green”. I discovered that it was made from recycled products, which peaked my interest (am I that devoted to the environment!?) As I read a bit further I found it is recycled from “clean paper“ (whew) without bleach and that it comes from sources such as office product packaging. (now I know what happens to the cardboard packaging from my ink cartridges) After a few minutes trying to picture the recycling process and toilet paper contents, I gave the package a little squeeze to make sure it was softer than the ink cartridge packaging and I decided that indeed I was committed enough to use recycled bathroom tissue!

Lately the environment seems to be a hot topic with an uncertainty among people as weather patterns continue to change. The reason for these changes are not always agreed upon. During many of my “informal poles” I have discovered people believe everything from “the dawn of the next ice age“, to “an 80year cycle“, to “global warming“ or “climate change” (as some areas are cooling rather than warming).

I highly recommend the documentary “an inconvenient truth” I found myself both informed and alarmed, yet it was not all doom and gloom with simple and easy suggestions working on the basis if we all do a little it will create big change. Higher efficiency vehicles, appliances and lighting are a few things we can do now to create change and save money and energy. In my opinion the environment is a personal and moral issue that requires both an individual and collective effort. David Suzuki is now a regular guest on the weather network (another indication that we are ready to hear more about this issue) he suggested eating meat 1 less day a week (lowering the fuel consumption that grows the grain to feed the animals that feed us). He also talked about wind, solar and geothermal energy. Larry King had a special report on climate change with Bill Nye (and the opposition) but who wouldn’t believe Bill Nye our favorite science guy???

I also watched the movie “the day after tomorrow” (made in 2004) on TV a few days after watching “an inconvenient truth”. A science fiction movie that plays out a modern day environmental catastrophe that seems to mirror the documentary and yet it was made several years before which may have something to do with the fact that Al Gore has been giving the same lecture for several decades (and all I knew about him was that he couldn’t spell potato?!)

Have we become so “busy” that we are losing sight of the “base of our existence“? Lets face it there are really only two things that are key in life, one is our health, and the other is our environment, without these basics everything else is irrelevant. We are taxing our environment at a rate that is higher than ever before in history and we really don’t know what that means for our planet. Even if there are no significant repercussions to the environment brought about by our generation in our lifetime, what are we leaving behind for our children, and their children? Will we leave a legacy of over consuming and complacency? Or will we go down in history as the generation that made the difference using “cutting edge technology” to keep our planet clean, healthy and thriving? Beam me up Scotty, I’m ready!

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Yoga

I almost laughed out loud during a recent yoga class when one woman exclaimed “this is not relaxing!” and I thought first “ouch” and then I thought amongst the hard work and muscle challenging moments, I find nothing but complete relaxation.

Several months ago I decided that I should take up yoga, so I looked in the paper and found a local yoga class and immediately signed up. It was everything I wanted it to be, a workout for my body and an exercise in quieting my mind. (most people who know me would agree that the second exercise for me is nothing short of a miracle!) Well it was a work out for my muscles and joints that had no idea of what to think of these new stretches and positions. I was a little confused in the beginning to say the least, I listened so closely to the instructions and contorted my body into the exact position only to look up and find I was heading in the wrong direction. But our instructor a very peace filled and patient woman, gently guides us to the right position, I imagine her internal dialogue going something like…. The other left dummy! I am thinking of designing a line of yoga clothing that has left leg, right arm imprinted in the appropriate place!

The class I joined is welcoming to all levels and ages and I have felt very comfortable working at my own pace, I mean sometimes my body just doesn’t co-operate! A dozen lessons later, I am starting to remember some of the poses and I am noticing the changes in my muscles and joints. I think that this is a great life line for the body, I’m sure it is similar to Tia Chi and other muscle and joint enhancing activities, it also motivated me to lose an extra few pounds as I felt ripped off that I couldn’t work some of the positions due to some extra baggage I have been packing. I also started following Bob Green’s Best Life Diet and found I am eating somewhat different but more frequently and just with more common sense. This is all a part of my self care commitment and I swear that 50 things always crop up right before Yoga, but I remember my commitment and I reorganize or adjust the other things in my life which always seems to be a big challenge! Sometimes as moms (well most times as moms) we don’t make the time for ourselves and it is a real stretch to put ourselves at the top of our list and in my house if it doesn’t cry, bark or complain, it just doesn’t get fed or tended too.. (needless to say I have a plant free home!) After several months of making the time for my healthy new habits I am beginning to feel the benefits of my efforts and I feel less stressed and I am able to make changes in schedules to take time off and delegate some tasks that others can do. Two times I was late for yoga and I promised my instructor I would be early the next week and that I was fixing my life that was far too busy and another yoga student questioned me that I was going to fix my whole life in a week, but I clarified, no I meant I’ll be on time next week, my life…. Well that is a process!

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Bringing up baby

Being a mom was always a top priority on my list of life goals even from the time I was a little girl and owned my very own thumbalina doll.

Today I am a mom of 4 sons and it has been quite a journey. Our fist three sons were born within 3 years 1month and 11days of each other, needless to say it was a busy but magical time in our lives. No one prepared me for the sleepless nights the coughs the colds the diapers and the crazy plan I would fulfill on buying a puppy (in hind sight I must have been absolutely nuts!)

My whirlwind of bringing up babies (and puppy) was in full force when only three short months after our third son Lucas was born my dad passed away suddenly. He was 58years old, an active business man in pretty good health and was Les’ (hubby‘s) employer, everything was now tossed into the air ready for the winds of change. I think you find out really quick how well you can swim when thrown into rough waters. Like the following summer when we decided that Les would become a self employed musician while I was a stay at home mom… 11 years later we are really good swimmers!

The boys were full of energy and I became very resourceful very quickly. We lived in a tiny house and I decided that it was much kinder to remove furniture with sharp edges allowing me to still nurse my third child and baby proofing saved everyone’s sanity (I think everything folded up by this time!) Many nights we had the whole troop sleeping with us and I know for a fact that our third was sleeping through the night before the first two and there was about one month when all three were still in diapers, and our third was also the first text book baby. (our fourth 7yrs later is an article on his own!) I laugh now when I listen to any debates on child rearing that use to cause me to worry and fret. I learned is that if momma is happy then everyone is happy and if that means everyone piles in for a nights sleep then so be it! I find the argument that they won’t leave your side later quite funny when I look at my sons now as older individuals who are quite particular about where I drop them off for school and how unacceptable it is for me to hug them goodbye in front of their friends. I was so deeply rooted in my mothering ways nothing could change my need to love and protect these little people and I never knew I would have so much to lose as the moment these new beings were created. They are our responsibility and yet they are souls on their own journey, a challenging balance to say the least! We have taught our sons to respect and listen to others and to respect themselves, we listen to them and help them find their path in life. I always tell them how amazing and unique they are and point out their strengths. People often comment on what nice kids we have and I think it is simply because we fill them with love, treat them with respect while allowing them to be themselves (mistakes and all) the way we would want to be treated and when the world beats them down we pick them up and brush them off and refuel them. I am far from perfect when it comes to parenting but I figure it’s better to reach for the stars and if we fall short, at the very least, the clouds will be a soft place to fall!

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Chasing Vanity …..and how sad I thought that this “vanity thing” had taken up so much space in our lives, so much wasted space....

I have spent many hours, days, weeks worrying about looks, weight and fashion sense, however, I have changed my stand on the whole scene over the last several years! As women we strive to maintain a outer beauty that keeps up with images we have seen on covers of magazines and on TV, allowing this to dictate to our self worth, our self value to our self esteem, enslaving ourselves to the mirror.

I am here to tell you today that this is just a waste of precious time and keeps us from the real point of the journey we are on, collectively and separately! Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that taking care of yourself, eating healthy and exercising is key to a fulfilled existence, not only does it make you look better but it makes you feel better on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

Let me start by defining two different types of “beautiful” as I see it. First there is “magazine beauty“ (which has been fed to us since birth), and then there is “beauty“, an “attraction” that you can’t quite put your finger on, but some people have “it“! I’m not sure exactly how to explain it on paper but when you see “it”, it does not look unattainable it looks authentic. Like the difference between “trying” and “being“.

The main reason I have decided to stop “chasing vanity” as I have now coined the phrase for myself, came from a very difficult 7 years during my life. My mother in law, followed immediately by my mother developed cancer. I remember my mom spending much of her adult life “trying” to lose weight, going to weight programs, I remember ritualistic trips to the scale, and I saw both my mom and my mother-in-law struggle with the weight issues along with myself. We all shared the common belief we need to change the way we looked.

During their life with cancer I watched them become thin beyond belief, frail , and trying desperately to keep the weight on. Isn’t it ironic! Spending so much energy in life trying to take it off, and in sickness trying to keep it on. Looking back I think we should have spent that time and energy talking, laughing and being content with exactly who we were.

Our society has become self absorbed, self indulgent and guilt ridden. A miracle pill on one commercial and a fast food commercial following it. They have the market cornered, now if the fast food conglomerate owned the diet conglomerate, and better yet if they owned the pharmaceutical conglomerate then what more could they ask for? It would be genius! They could sell us the food that makes us overweight and unhealthy and then sell us the programs and pills to make us thin and the pharmaceuticals to band-aid our deteriorating health. Wait the wellness magazines can put unrealistic photos of women for us to look at while selling us mental health solutions for our poor self esteem. Oh wait… has that already happened?

The truth is we are all made perfectly, exactly as “God” or “the Universe” or “science“ or “insert your own belief system word” intended us to be. Now had I been present for my creation, I would have found it really tempting to change some things, (like my hips) but must trust I am exactly the way I am for a reason. Now this does not mean that I should over-eat or under-eat or put toxic things into my body and say that’s who I am supposed to be, we are given our bodies to carry our “souls” “energy” “that thing that makes me, me” “insert your word here” and it is our responsibility to care of it, nourish it and keep it healthy. I like to call it “SELF CARE”.

I believe it is important for myself, and for other women to begin to “self care” ASAP, to not wait a moment longer, to ditch the guilt and the not worthy status and move forward into a fulfilled and happy existence. Also to pass it on… as role models. We need to begin a new generation of women that reach outward and forward and look inward to find their inner strengths, spending time on important things, and being exactly who they are meant to be. Passing it on can be as simple as looking someone in the eyes and letting them know, they are perfect exactly the way they are!

I guess my conclusion looks something like this, take care of yourself, enjoy every moment with everyone, especially yourself, look in the mirror and thank your body for allowing you to walk, talk, see and breath. Talk with pride, understanding and compassion. Listen to others. Love yourself from the inside out, it will be noticeable and people “who can truly see” will appreciate your beauty. Beauty is within, but it radiates out and benefits everyone.

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Grandmas quilts

I have these quilts that my grandma (who has been gone for a few years now) gave to me and I love my quilts. They are called working quilts and are made of spare material, some are made of her old winter coats and some I think I can even picture her wearing. One has a bright orange and yellow flowered flannel backing and I just love that too. We use them for sleeping most every night! They are warm and comfy and I filled with love.

However, many years ago when I received my first quilt it was not filled completely with love but with some straight pins as well. Now I know this seems odd, but I did not ever find one of these straight pins, they only were found by my poor stabbed hubby Les. He frequently would holler and reach into this quilt only to pull out yet another pin. They only ever stabbed him? Was my grandma trying to send him a message? Stay away from my granddaughter? Maybe this was an old fashioned form of birth control? It didn’t matter how long we had the blanket or how we adjusted it the pins were only destined for Les’ limbs!

Now the years have past and we have inherited a few more quilts and none the same as the first. The latter ones were much more husband friendly but still as comfy and cozy. I miss my grandma lots, and I think of her when we are all warm and cozy under the working quilts, and I smile at the thought of my poor husband being poked by straight pins and I wonder how they became so accurate?

I think of all the visits I had with my grandma, I remember her saying at a campfire in our backyard, how many years it had been since she’d been at a campfire and how it just seemed like yesterday her kids were little. And with my boys growing up, I thought this nothing shore of profound, and wondered how it would feel to be sitting there with your great grandchildren, saying that time had just flew by. I think it nade me realize and that time is precious and fleeing and we need to savor and enjoy every moment because it will be gone before we know it. That memory is now about 7 years ago and yep it feels like yesterday. My mom and my grandma both passed, (actually I am writing this is on the 2nd anniversary of my moms passing) and I reminded on a daily basis by their memories to slow down and cease the moment, and with Christmas right around the corner, I have decided this year to sit back and watch more, and visit more and let go of things more, and just enjoy the time of being together and the memories that are in my heart of the people moved on.

I remember as I snuggle under grandmas quilt!

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Mothers day

Mother’s day always brings a bundle of emotions to the table for me. It brings me great gratitude when my sons give me homemade cards and breakfast in bed. Last year I thought they forgot but soon I heard the clanking in the kitchen and was served a breakfast of fresh cut fruit, cereal, toast and some pretty darn good coffee. (headed up by Chef Jesse) During the day I always find myself missing my mom and my mother-in-law who both passed away from cancer at age 62 within about 3 years of each other. I was lucky to have a mother-in-law who was of the most gentle nature, she never overstepped her bounds and yet was able to gently suggest things to me. I miss our conversations and her wisdom. My mom was also full of wisdom (self proclaimed) and often let me know that “we will have this conversation again some day”. She had the spirit of an army and lived for more than 35 years with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She hated when people pitied her or when they prayed for her at church. She had everything replaced at least once (knees, elbows, wrists and a “C” something Vertebra). I always told her she was either the bionic or million dollar woman and asked her would she like to be cremated or recycled? I remember her being wheeled out of major of surgery and she wanted to make sure my sisters and I had gotten lunch! Even in her life with cancer she baffled all of the doctors, she insisted on her daily walk around the ward and stayed so long in palliative that she had to start paying (I congratulated her!) My mom’s friend told me the nurses felt a bit stressed because she liked things “just so” and liked to have everyone around her hopping, but I just laughed and said, “they can suck it up I‘ve been doing this for 37years free of charge!!!” Her strength and will to go on during her life still amazes me. I tell my boys often that she endured an awful lot to spend more days with us! I remember Les and I singing for the local women’s institute (Les‘ mom had always been a member) with our youngest son Max in tow, I looked around the room I and all I could think is “we are so motherless“ I was choked up to say the least. Our mom’s were both wonderful grandma’s and I miss them a lot on those days when there are only so many people on the planet that you can call in times of need, to stay with the kids, to just talk and listen. To watch the person who has always given you care become tired and pained by the slow clutches of cancer is so very difficult. In my mom’s last days I felt the only option I had was to sit with her and talk of simple things and join her on her journey however she chose to experience it. I did try to bring her comforting words and thoughts and allowed the boys to be the part of her final days in whatever capacity they felt comfortable (as they let me know I made a mistake with their other Grandma). Kids know what they are comfortable with, you just have to ask. So on mothers day I will remember and honor the memory of our moms and will enjoy these fleeting moments with my boys and think to myself what a wonderful world!

Post Script. As I was writing this a spider just came down from the ceiling and scared the begeesus out of me and I LOL as I remember my mom always called me Miss Muffet! So I guess I will have to go with the Buddhist belief and let the spider live (incase it’s my mom) however I am switching tuffets!

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Silent passage

Menopause seems to be a hot topic lately (no pun intended!) I was on a bus trip recently with all women (many in their 40’s) and our trip leader kept talking about hot flashes as the bus was freezing! You were either overheating or freezing on this trip and not about to complain to the ones with the hot flashes, that would have just been foolish! Since I live with all men it was lots of fun to travel with women and sorry but it was to shop not locally and please forgive me Lord we even stopped at Walmart and not even in this country. But in my defense I never get away, and I was thrilled to take a trip and have some great conversation and input on what I wear that consists of more than… “that looks fine honey” hollered from the other room! No one looked at me as if I had two heads when I spoke unlike at home and we planned our getting ready time in an orderly way without instance. At home I always know when Les is ready to leave, he is sitting in the car with the engine on, all of the kids are still in the house wandering and after directing the 4 boys into their attire I scramble to get ready and look somewhat presentable before running out the door to my impatiently awaiting coach.

Anyway we shopped and laughed and tried on everything. We looked at some items and had to read the instructions to figure out what exactly they were meant to do. We found stuff that would make you slimmer, taller, bustier and more tanned. We imagined how someone at the end of an evening would explain the change in their appearance as they peeled off the enhancing and withholding products. We imagined a poor fellows face as his catch of the day revealed its true form. We laughed so hard we had to leave the store. We also visited one of my favorite stores, the book store, I could spend hours there, I love the smell and being in the presence of all of the books! While I was in there I spotted the book “Silent Passage” about menopause and peri-menopause. I saw it on Oprah and she said every woman in their 30’s or 40’s should read it. It was a quick and informative read. It explained all of the topics women were discussing about their health on the trip and it really does seem to be an overlooked topic. Apparently viewed often as a physiological issue by many doctors and I would be shocked except the guy who invented Lamaze believed that it wasn’t really painful to have a contraction? Now how would a man know if a contraction is painful? It’s almost as stupid as Tom Cruise having a say on post-pardom depression? Unless you have given birth personally I do not see how you can speak intelligently on the topic! All I ever heard about menopause is you go a bit crazy for a while, now that’s educational and comforting! We need to be educated about our bodies and our options (natural & traditional) and it would be a shame if women were on anti-depressants because their estrogen level was low and it would be unfortunate if our bone density and risk of heart disease was overlooked because of lack of education or interest on this topic. Since we know ourselves better than anyone we are our own best advocates and partners in our health care, we are our own best caregivers and we are worth it!!!

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The Day I Manifested A Bookkeeper

Recently I manifested a bookkeeper, and no I‘m not nuts, I really did, or at least that's how I like to look at it! In the middle of a winter storm, she appeared at my door. The week earlier I had a light bulb moment: as you may (or may not) have read before I really don‘t like bookkeeping and if I am in charge of my own destiny then I would need to change this part of my life since. I had been studying up on the concept of “manifesting things in your life” (the law of attraction and intention) and thought maybe I try this with bookkeeping since quite frankly it was making me really cranky! So I put it out there to the “universe” and sure enough in a few short miraculous steps it took place… on a Tuesday she (my new bookkeeper) was stood up by a lady wanting her for 15hrs a week (so she wouldn‘t have been available), on Monday Neighbor Bob received our TV we ordered from him (Bob‘s an old friend but a new neighbor) and on Thursday he brought it over to us in a snowstorm at lunch (we were all home since schools were closed) and as Bob was leaving Les noticed a car in his driveway. Bob explained it was his bookkeeper, so I began to question him (as he has a small business like us and would need similar help). Sure enough, she was exactly what I needed and more and he thought she was looking for more work. Les said “oh we’ll call her another time” but I was persistent and asked him “specifically” would he ask her if she needed anymore clients and if she did would she please contact us. (your intentions must be clear!) An hour or so later I was on the phone when my 3yr old came into the room. He walked behind me without speaking and began to push me forward towards the front room, I was still on the phone so I silently went along. I figured he was like Lassie and something was in need of my service (with Max this could be a cookie) I looked up to the front door and there was a woman standing there, yet I had not heard the doorbell? (it was probably frozen but Max had been ‘coincidentally’ running up the stairs and seen her). I invited her in and we just clicked. She was enthusiastic and not overwhelmed by our small business’ that often overlap and are growing. (she had not run out the door screaming!) I hired her on the spot. My stomach began to unknot for the first time in years. I heard the words of Mrs. Doubtfire call out in my mind “help is on the way“. I always felt too guilty to hire someone since I was capable of doing the work myself but now I’m getting to a place in my life that I realize just because I don’t pay for it doesn’t mean I’m not paying for it! I know to some this doesn’t look like a miracle or anything that exciting but I must tell you that it was to me and I haven’t often felt as much joy as “the day I manifested a bookkeeper”!

Post Script: When in business it is most important when hiring to “hire up”. Someone with more knowledge and experience to bring to the table.

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PASSPORT TIPS - GET A BARCODE!!!

I was recently at the passport office to get a passport for our youngest son, and was pained to hear that there was a 3-4hour wait to process the passport. Since I had our oldest and youngest with me I decided to come back the next morning and arrive before it opened (9:45am) and I was pretty sure there would be a line up at opening time.

I arrived at 8:30am to the “nearly unmarked” passport office with an almost “non-existent“ paid parking lot (about 25 spaces). Now I’m not that quick at math, but I figure a 3-4hour wait and 25parking spots don’t exactly add up. So I was happy to see there was 1 spot left and a helpful young parking attendant. I said to the attendant as I got out of the car.. is this it for parking spaces? She said yes and I said “you must get a lot of grief working here” as she nodded I tipped her two dollars to buy herself a coffee.

I went upstairs to receive ticket #54. About a 2-4hour wait I was told in broken English from a delightful older gentleman worker who asked if I had “a handwrite” on my form or “computer write“ I didn’t want to be rude but I didn’t understand the question, so I showed him my form and figured out he was asking me if it was handwritten or and online form with a bar code. Handwritten meant a 2-4hour wait (and a lot of “patient“ he said) a bar code on a computer form would mean about 10-20mins! Now that’s a pretty big difference, but considering this was my third trip here (I forgot to mention they were closed on the Friday of the big snow storm), and time was beginning o be an issue, the sheet with the bar code would need to be re-notarized, so I figured I might as well wait. The broken English worker kept us all laughing and soon we all began translating for him with each new person entering the waiting room… he informed others the seats were free and they could bring popcorn and chips. He was a hoot! We all began to chat since we were stuck waiting, we began discussing the quickest way to fill out the forms and whether or not to risk leaving for coffee (as you were allowed to leave and come back) I did not want to risk my 54th place in line!

As time drew on we began monitoring the passport process and discovered the person who was 4th in line arrived at 7:18am, the 13th person was finished at 9:20am and the 22nd person was done at 9:40am. So according to our calculations we were moving at a rate of about 22 people/hour. So if I was lucky I should be out in about 2hours. We were moved to the next room shortly after 10:00am (the 2nd group of 50) and the anticipation grew as my number drew closer. My new found friends shared in the excitement as the two numbers before mine were called but didn’t show. It felt like a lottery winner when I was called up, and the rest was done within about 5 minutes. (about 10:50am)

To sum it up, in this potentially tedious event, I found lots of laughs and conversation & devised a plan for the rest of the family to renew our passports in February. One thing I know for sure I will definitely be getting that bar code and hitting the fast lane!
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BUYERS BEWARE!

In the summer I purchased some appliances at 90days interest free, however I did not pay close enough attention! There is a default payment that comes off your wonderful credit card offered by that really cheap store. The “credit guard” and can only be removed by calling the number of a non-related company, hidden among the fine print on your credit card. It is your responsibility to call and remove it, it’s a long and tedious process and you need to be good at saying “NO”.

This “Credit guard” is very expensive and protects you incase your card is lost, stolen, personal illness (some restrictions I’m sure apply) or if you’re hit by a car between 34th & 56th street on a Tuesday afternoon, oh yeah and don’t forget if aren’t wearing a purple tunic you will not be eligible for this over priced insurance.

Now when I paid my full purchase amount but failed to deduct the credit guard charge, I fell slightly short of my full payment amount and was then dinged with the accrued interest from my original purchase (about $200.00). So any original savings were now blown out of the water! I had already spent more than an hour prior to this, trying to fix a duplicate account problem? I was polite when I told the (probably minimum wage) telephone representative that this was “criminal” and “immoral” even though I’m sure she has no say over what goes on, and she didn‘t disagree with my shock, I asked her to make a note and to register a complaint and I found myself reminiscing about a similar cell phone experience.

Lately I have started shopping in smaller more personal stores, supporting local business’. I also think (as a small business owner) that it is important to be comparably priced & that the little guys don’t price ourselves out of business. I am tired of miles of walking in big box stores, searching for, most often unqualified staff ( I mean I can read the box myself). Pressure sales for expensive insurance on items that are already outdated the moment I buy them, and if you think they aren‘t making money off of the insurance, just say no and watch the sales pitch jump up several notches. I think am ready for stress free shopping, maybe even some nice conversation and quality service!

I like to think of myself as a “Market Maven’s” (people who watch the markets, sales and promotions and let others know what is a good deal, where is a good store etc. and their only payoff is helping others). Apparently these large stores and advertisers know about Mavens who reside in our communities, they have marketing clout, a watchdog and a super hero among shoppers! So I warn you “buyers beware” it is time as consumers to stop buying the scams of today’s market and to make sure our children to not become immune to this new age money grab!

Also another note: when you are looking at that beautiful sofa that has no interest or payments for a year, I’d like you to make a mental picture of it a year from now. Perhaps saggy and worn from the kids jumping on it, or tattered and torn from the cats new found scratching post, the dogs new favorite sleeping quarters, now visualize yourself hading over large payments for this year old item (probably out of style too) leave the store for an hour and return only if it is still a good idea. Not to mention all of those hidden charges added to that too good to be true price tag!
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In this day & Age....

I think in this day and age we find ourselves running to catch up…. catch up to what? I have no idea. We have been thrown into an age of information, too much information. There is barely enough time to understand our technological tools before they are obsolete and we are once again learning from scratch. It is an age of overwhelm and anxiety, but with so much constant change is it any wonder? I am always up for a challenge, but somedays I just want to scream. I have to program the microwave again as I am greeted in the morning after a power surge with blinking lights on all of my clocks which each have a different and unique way of setting. My phone has a manual the size of the phone book and my cell phone has more features than my first computer. So I learn to dial out and pick up a call, maybe even check my messages, and play a game or two, but how much extra time would I need to download music?
Well as the mother of four boys I can tell you I don’t have enough time to figure it all out, so I run my phone almost completely manually. Yes it could be completely automated and yes I pay for features I almost never use and I refuse to leave home without this item that I have become dependant on since my late 20s. I ponder if all of the time I have wasted on technology is worth the missed opportunity to play with my kids, visit a friend in person, or simply sit quietly. Yep that’s right sit quietly, how often do we experience quiet, solitude, stillness. I tell you, if it’s not a radio blasting, or a commercial trying to convince me I that I will “look great” and be “very happy” if I buy their product, it‘s a phone ringing or incoming email… there are so many things that will obstruct the silence somehow our world has become so noisy we don’t recognize any other state.

There is a definite lack of solitude in this day and age. A shortage of peace and a lack of understanding. It appears everyone including myself has become in a great hurry, going nowhere. (sorry if I was in too much of a hurry to see anyone who is going slowly). I am starting to realize the price I am paying for this “busy” world. It is taxing on one’s health and sanity. Assuming these two things walk hand in hand and today’s world threatens both, not to mention what is happening to our planet while we are so “busy”. I think it is worth a moments contemplation.

So I ask myself… do I need to run to the phone every time it rings? Is the answering machine only useful when I am not at home? Was there life before email? Is the internet a reliable source of information… is it time effective? Do we need more things? Will we ever have enough things? Will we eventually drown in all of the unnecessary packaging surrounding all of the new things we need? Will our water or our environment ever recover from our current abuse and neglect? How will mother nature look when she really gets mad… or is she already??? How do we stop the over consuming? Can we stop it? Is it too late? Why can’t we fly food to people who need it? Why do people die when there is no shortage of food on our planet? Why can’t we just change the system? Can we ever stop war? Do other mothers from other countries hurt less when a child dies? Do we care? Is it our problem? Who’s problem is it? Where are we going? Why? What really matters? Do we have a moment left to contemplate or have we already spent it???